Self-awareness is the first step to self-care. To make decisions that are best for ourselves and our horses, we have to be able to recognize what is good and bad for us on an individual basis. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we can’t function at the top of our game (mentally and physically). These ten ideas are all things that help us prepare and perform.
1) Wear your personality.
Outfit trends are one of the most talked about topics in the equine industry. It’s engaging and even argumentative, but you can’t forget your taste. Wearing things that show off who you are is the best way to feel confident in the arena. You should still keep outfits to an appropriate and professional level, but designers are always coming up with new ways to bring personalization into their work. Some people might want to be bold while others feel most comfortable in button-down blouses. Whatever your flare is, let it show.
2) Rest.
Go ahead, laugh. We almost didn’t include this in the list of ways to take care of yourself at shows as we all know it’s virtually impossible. Although we might not get to sleep as much as we would like, setting time aside to do things for yourself is necessary. Decide what you can do the night before you show to make your mornings easier.
Here is a to-do list of things for the evening before you show:
Wash your horse and fake tail
Band/braid
Clean your boots
Lay out all pieces of your outfits
Make sure grooming supplies are readily available
Make sure your hair and makeup supplies are easily accessible
By doing some of these things, you save yourself the few minutes you might have spent digging around for things that you need. Maybe you can sleep a couple of minutes longer, or maybe you can sit and drink that cup of coffee without rushing.
You may find some other opportunities to rest throughout the day. No, probably not nap, but if you can, take advantage of it. It might just be 15 minutes to eat lunch or sit down. Sometimes we move so quickly through the day, we forgot to even look for an opportunity to rest. The truth is, our brains and bodies need it on occasion. Take a minute to slow down.
3) Trust your instincts.
If you are in this sport, you have probably learned by now that learning your strengths and weaknesses plays a significant role in your success. You have come to understand your horse and yourself more than anyone else, which means you must also trust your instincts. This skill could be used in a variety of ways: knowing if your horse has had enough for the day, if they aren’t feeling well or what to focus on in your classes. The list could go on and on. Put yourself in a situation where you have been educated enough that you can trust your instincts in most cases.
4) Never speak poorly about yourself.
No one is ever going to have a perfect ride every time, but that doesn’t mean you’re not good at what you’re doing. Just like anything in life, every experience in life, whether it’s good or bad, has a lesson that goes with it. Instead of saying, “That was terrible” say “It could have been better, we have things to work on for next time.”
A positive attitude can move mountains in this sport. It might not get you anywhere faster, but it will make your journey more enjoyable.
5) Never give up on your dreams.
Dreams are the reason we do this. If there wasn’t that desire to be handed the trophy, have our best rides yet, win that all-around, or let people hear our name…we wouldn’t work this hard. No one has gotten to where they are without putting hours of time into fine-tuning their skills and the partnership they share with their horse. It’s not easy, and the ones who stick with it feel the dream. It stirs inside people like us and, even in our lowest moments, we rise because no one gets to the top by staying where they fell.
6) Don’t be afraid to say “no.”
We all have our limits and there are times that we have to acknowledge them. We might have to say no to going in a class for the sake of our horse or going to a horse show at all. For most, horse showing is a side hobby that we don’t get to make a career out of it. Many times that means we have to put other things first. Saying no is hard because we don’t want to disappoint anyone or show weakness. There has to be a healthy balance with how hard we push ourselves to accomplish something. Saying no can also mean you are accepting that a goal is out of your reach, for now.
7) Don’t be afraid to say “yes.”
Just like you have to say no, there are times to say yes too. ‘Yes’ puts us out of our comfort zone and that is not something to fear. Saying yes means we are accepting a new challenge as an opportunity. Nothing significant comes from sitting back and watching someone else take the chance that could have been yours. This doesn’t always mean you will be rewarded each time you branch out beyond the safe zone, but you will certainly learn something that you can take with you the next time.
8) Let go of what you can’t control.
The competition tests our mental strength. In the arena, we can control two things; our riding and our horse. The judging and ability of other riders are beyond us, so why worry? It is a natural response to feel uneasy when other people seem ‘so good.’ I bet if you look closely at those people, they have one thing in common; they look tough. Not conceded, but with a focused determination. No one is in their head but them. They stay focused on their animal and the task that lies ahead. When you walk into the arena, you can only do as well as you are prepared for that minute. You can’t school your horse into learning something new right before you show. Leave that for at home. Take what you have now and own it.
9) Stay away from drama and negativity.
Drama is one of those inevitable life things. As much as we dislike it, it seems to churn itself up. There will always be those people who appear to be in the middle of it, stirring it up even more. Don’t be that person.
A cynical mind does not accomplish anything but self-destruction. Surrounding yourself with people like this can be a toxic environment, even if you try to avoid that way of thinking. Our brains remember what we hear, and the actions of others do have the ability to transfer to us. We are our only defense.
Here is a list of questions to ask yourself about the people around you:
Do they encourage themselves and others?
Do they appreciate my friendship?
Do they try to learn from losing?
Do they talk poorly of other exhibitors?
Are their actions self-motivated?
Sometimes it’s hard to recognize how pessimism is affecting a group because the truth is, these people might really be our friends. You don’t have to wash your hands of them, but it might take you being open about your feelings when they speak out in a way that you feel is offensive. Protecting yourself is not something to be ashamed of. You will be happy you did.
10) Love what you are doing.
Passion is the best motivation you can have. There is nothing else driving a person that stays up to get more practice in and then wakes up before everyone else more than the love for the sport. Pushing yourself to go the extra mile is always challenging and the sad part is, sometimes it doesn’t matter. You could work all night and still mess up a ride.
If we didn’t love what we were doing, we wouldn’t keep working for it. Going through low points tests everything we know about ourselves. If you love it, you won’t quit. You might cry, sweat, and near your breaking point…but you won’t quit.
About the Author: GoHorseShow writer and MQHA Queen, Morgan McCarthy Warda, is a graduate of the University of Michigan-Flint with a degree in Wildlife Biology and Writing. Morgan grew up actively competing on the AQHA circuit. She balances her time between her job as an Agriculture Environment Assurance Program Technician, showing, writing, being an MQHA board member, and working as a student research assistant at the Shiawassee National Wildlife Refuge. In the future, Morgan plans to obtain a Master’s degree in Wildlife Management and continue to be an active member of AQHA.
