Do you consider your horse trainer to be a partner in your quest to better riding? Maybe you think of your trainer as a friend yet find that you are sometimes on completely different pages. Perhaps you are afraid to tell your trainer how you feel about a new event or maybe you have an issue with another customer in the barn and don’t know how to approach the topic.
Relationships with horse trainers can be funny things. First of all, clients and trainers spend an inordinate amount of time together. They share holidays, celebrate birthdays; spend entire weekends, often weeks at a time on the road. Long days are spent together showing away from home and separated from other family members.
As if the very nature of a client/horse trainer relationship is not enough to cause stress, there is the normal pressure that arises from competition – often with other customers in the barn and always from competitors outside your barn. It’s enough pressure to cause any relationship to crack yet many trainer/client relationships last for decades – a true testament to the individual parties.
People are social creatures and riding horses is a social event for most amateur riders. Remembering that horse training is a profession for trainers is the first step in ensuring a quality relationship. And although horse trainers come in all different shapes, sizes and personalities, every relationship can benefit by keeping a few key characteristics for good working relationships in mind.
- Open Communication. Keeping communication open and honest is imperative. Trainers are not mind readers even though their lives may imitate that of a circus carnie. It is the trainers’ job to continually push their customers’ comfort zone to meet the competition. If a rider is not comfortable with the direction or pace of the program, the rider must be able to voice their concerns. Both parties must listen and speak without passing judgment.
- Trust. It is the foundation upon which the future is laid. Trust is a two way street, both parties must be honorable in order for a quality bond to exist. To be trusted, you must do as you say and follow through with your promises. Expect the same from your trainer. Understand that you can easily undermine the relationship by constantly questioning the trainer’s actions, quality of care or technique. Be open and honest and expect the same from your trainer.
- Understanding the boundaries. Remember clients ride as a hobby, horse trainers ride for a living. That does not mean horse trainers do not like to have fun while they work, but respecting the boundaries is key in all aspects of a relationship – for both parties.
- Mutual respect. When both parties have respect for the other, it is easy to find solutions. Listening with an open mind, communicating without judgment and respecting the boundaries are ways to show your respect. When you value each other’s input, you work together for find solutions, build trust and deepen the bond.
Having and keeping a healthy relationship with your trainer should not be difficult. If it causes you stress, it will negatively affect your ride when you go to the barn and certainly at the horse show. To develop a good working relationship with your trainer keep the following tips in mind.
- Identify your relationship needs. If you want a weekly private lesson, tell your trainer. If you want weekly updates on your horse’s progress, tell your trainer. Do not expect your horse trainer to know your wants and needs. Be as specific as you can about your expectations. Then make sure your expectations are in line with your trainer’s philosophy.
- Ask your trainer what is the best time to call, stop by, ride, check up on your horse or whatever you might want that infringes on your trainer’s day or property. Remember that your horse trainer’s job entails more than just riding your horse. Time spent answering your call three times a day may be better spent with time in the saddle.
- Respect the boundaries. Managing the boundaries may sound elementary but it is the easy to creep over the line a little at a time. If your trainer authorizes a one-time exception to a standing rule, do not assume the rule is no longer in play for you.
- Avoid monopolizing your trainer’s time. It is easy to think that you are the only customer in the barn when you get your trainer’s undivided attention during weekday rides throughout the school year. And it can be difficult to suddenly have to share your trainer’s time with other customers if you have not had to in the past. Keep in mind you and your horse are one of several clients your trainer works for – all deserving the same amount of time and devotion. Trainers need all of you – not just one of you!
- Don’t gossip. Sharing information that is not yours to share does irreparable harm to your relationship. Like everyone, horse people love to talk about other people’s problems. Trainer/client information is privileged. If you are privy to inside information, it is your responsibility to keep it private unless given permission to share it. This goes for social media too. Ask you trainer if you can share something on Facebook before posting a video of their latest western riding run. What you find funny or appropriate another may not. Always get permission before sharing information.
- Support everyone in the barn. There is nothing that will cause more difficulties for your trainer than a jealous overbearing client. Trainers cannot survive by riding, training and showing only one horse. Leave the competition at the gate. When you walk out of the show arena, the competition is over, don’t carry it over into everyday barn activities. If your trainer is to be successful, the team must be successful. Include everyone and treat everyone the same.
Watch for part two of this series where Stephanie shares has even more thoughts about strengthening the client-trainer relationship.
