As if showing horses isn’t challenging enough, mixing this with the demanding responsibilities of a full-time job and family seems close to impossible. I know the challenge first-hand. I’m a high school English teacher and the mother of a four-year-old. In addition to this already full schedule, I enjoy showing horses, and I keep my horses at home year-round. So the balancing act begins. How is all of this possible, and how can someone actually be successful in all three extremely demanding roles? The competitor in me rises to the challenge, and even though it is not always easy, I have discovered five tips that help make this manageable.
1. Prioritize: With so many responsibilities, it is important to decide where your priorities are. Honestly, life would be awesome if we could just do what we enjoy, but unfortunately that is not the case. We work so we can afford to show, and we love and cherish our families. The difficulty lies in keeping everything in balance so that we maintain our sanity. Horse showing provides an outlet where we can escape the demands placed on us everyday as parents and employees. Sometimes we need that time away; however, our families need us, too. Even though our priorities may change depending on the time of year (for me, my priorities are very different in the summer than during the school year), we always need to keep focused. If we don’t prioritize effectively, we may not do anything well. Set goals that are achievable and reasonable but yet demanding and challenging so we continue to better ourselves in all three areas of life.
2. Be Flexible: In this balancing act between work and parenthood, being flexible is an absolute MUST. Before families and job responsibilities, we were able to do what we wanted, when we wanted. Then, the reality of adulthood sets in, and we no longer have this freedom. However, being with horses can help us feel that freedom we felt as children. We have to take one day at a time and one horse show at a time. With a family and full-time job, choose the events that are most important to you. On days when everything goes as planned, show the all-around events, but when family or job demands get in the way, focus on your favorite classes (for me, horsemanship and trail). Attend shows that fit best with your family and work obligations. And remember, horse showing is supposed to be an escape from the real-world realities, so RELAX!
3. Rest: This may sound ridiculous next to the ideas of being a parent, having a full-time job, and caring for show horses. However, the best way to prioritize effectively and to be flexible is to get enough rest to make good choices. Go to bed earlier if you have to get up early to practice; catch a nap between classes; instead of practicing that horsemanship pattern twice, maybe one good QUALITY practice is enough. I realize this is not always possible, and you definitely cannot control little ones (pets included) when they have rough nights. However, make sure rest is on your list of things to do at a horse show. Remember, this is supposed to be fun, and it’s not much fun if everybody is sleep deprived.
4. Include Family As Often As Possible: The best way to balance having a family and horse showing is to take your family with you. My four-year-old son is part of taking care of horses on a daily basis. This teaches children that horse showing is not only about looking pretty and riding out in the show ring wearing flashy clothes but also loving and caring for the horses every day. Set aside a special area in the barn just for your children where they can play whatever they want while being with you. Horse showing as a family and not just an individual hobby is not always easy, but having someone to share the successes with makes them even more rewarding. And even the failures don’t seem as bad when you can cry on someone’s shoulder.
5. Acquire Support Staff: Horse showing, working, and having a family is not possible without help from family members and good friends. All of your responsibilities will be extremely difficult to accomplish without help, and it is certainly not a disgrace to ask for it. Obviously, you need someone to care for your children while you are physically showing, practicing, or working, but you also need someone to help you deal with horse show and work frustrations. Additionally, support staff can make it possible to get the rest that is necessary to help you parent more effectively and show more competitively. Trying to balance a family, full-time job, and horse showing is truly a challenge, and there will be times when nothing seems to work out. But our competitive nature will rise to these challenges and find success in all three roles. A challenge—yes! Impossible—absolutely not!
