May 16, 2012, is a day Vanessa Froman of Sawyer, Michigan will never forget. It was a day no horse owner every wants to endure. Her beloved horse, Gentlemen Step Aside (Rudy), was injured in a stall accident. Despite rushing him to Rood and Riddle in Kentucky, he could not be saved and had to be euthanized. Along with his death, the goals, and dreams Vanessa had with her beloved companion died as well.
“I constantly think of the what if’s and if only’s. His senseless death set so many things in motion,” Vanessa shared. “Time does not heal all wounds and it sure doesn’t help me forget. I know exactly where the scar tissue is in my heart from when Dr. Ruggles told me both arteries to his foot were severed by the metal. His hoof was already cold and we had to put him down.”
In life sometimes things don’t go as planned, and we are forced to forge a new path. This Michigan native had to look deep within herself to find the strength to move on from this tragedy.
“Looking back on the day of his death and the weeks afterward, I can firmly say my horse life completely shifted because of his death. Some people I barely knew touched me with their kinds words and I’m forever grateful for that,” Vanessa remembers. “However, I had someone tell me to look on the bright side, at least it wasn’t one of my children who had died. That was the most insensitive thing anyone could have said to me.”
Even with these unfortunate events, Froman told us that some positives came out of the tragedy.
At the time of Rudy’s death, Froman had been training with Jenell Pogue for about a year and a half. “Jenell is very professional and runs a tight ship. She and I got along great but it was a business relationship and we each had some walls up towards people in general,” Vanessa recalls. “The day of Rudy’s tragedy, she stepped up like no one else could. She did for me what I wasn’t able to do. She cried with me, she panicked with me, she shared my pain, she cared for my Rudy and went above and beyond what any business relationship would call for. His death has given birth to a friendship that I hold next the scar tissue in my heart from Rudy’s death.”
Everyone is lucky to find that once-in-a-lifetime horse, and Froman said she found that in Rudy. “Have you ever had that horse or special pet that you first met and felt like you’ve known them your entire life and they have known you? That’s what Rudy and I had. He was less than 24 hours old when I first saw him, I was pregnant with my first child and when I went to write the check on my belly to buy Rudy my son kicked the checkbook. I’ll never forget that. We connected in a way that I never have before or since with a horse.”
We asked her what she misses the most about him. “I miss the love he had for my two boys. Rudy took care of them and myself like not many horses can. He was so young but he tolerated so much from them. Rudy was supposed to be each boy’s first walk-trot horse. He was supposed to teach each one how to lope. He was supposed to be our lifelong family horse and so much more. Those lost dreams are what I miss the most as I watch other horses fulfill the plans I had made for Rudy.”
Despite these lost dreams, Froman decided to carry on and found some healing through showing Rudy’s full sister, Gentleman Prefer Legs (Chloe) as well as standing her breeding stallion, Invited To The Dance.
“It was more of the horse community that helped me carry on,” Froman shares. “Since his death, I’ve had other friends lose their horses suddenly, and I’ve been able to be that empathetic ear and offer up advice that I couldn’t do before May 16th. I honor Rudy every time I swing a leg over a horse or walk into the show pen.”
Froman says that right after Rudy’s death she told herself that she was done with horses. “I’m pretty stubborn at times and I started getting frustrated with my thoughts of getting out of horses. APHA is a family to me. I grew up here and now I’m raising our boys in APHA. Going to the shows and having my family surround me with love and hugs gave me the encouragement to make a plan. I decided it was time to focus on my stallion and making his babies my future.”
Vanessa’s hard work has paid off. Last year, she earned her first ever Top 10 placing at the APHA World Show with a foal by her stallion, making her stallion a Top 10 World Show Producer. “I’ve got a few great Invited To The Dance (pictured left) babies at home right now that I’m anxious to take into the show pen in the future.”
Froman says that she has done a lot of different things to try and process his Rudy’s and the unfairness of it all. “I planted a Blue Spruce tree in his memory. It greets me as I pull in the drive each time and says goodbye when I leave. The boys take their first and last day of school pictures next to our ‘Rudy Tree’ each year. As my son, Collin says, ‘This way Rudy is always in our family pictures.’ Something that simply helps to make me smile instead of cry.”
