Someone once said, “There will be haters, there will be doubters, there will be non-believers and then there will be you, proving them wrong.”
The horse world is filled with opinionated, passionate equestrians who are not afraid to stand up for what they believe in. These characteristics are wonderful but can often lead to clashes of opinions or beliefs.
Thus, leading to haters. We have all experienced a hater or two at school, work or even at horse shows. Whether this drama occurs over social media or in your barn, it is inevitable at times.
Not every personality type gets along well with one another, especially in such a small world. Handling these situations in a professional, respectful manner is crucial.
Here are things to remember next time you encounter a hater in your life.
1) Know the difference between hate and constructive criticism
American author, Norman Vincent Peale, once said, “The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.”
It is important to remember there is a difference between hate and constructive criticism. For example, your trainer yelling at you during a lesson is not considered hate. Constructive criticism is needed to step outside of comfort zones. The only way to improve is by knowing what you are doing incorrectly. Here are the differences between constructive criticism and hate:
Criticism
– Supported by facts
-Tries to educate
– “I believe… this is why… I think you should”
– Builds someone up
– Supported by logic
Hate
– Tears down the person
– Biased and strongly opinionated
– Point out negatives and none of the positives
– Not supported by facts or logic
– Comes across in an “attack” manner
2) Delete, block and ban on social media
There are “block,” “unfriend,” and “delete” buttons for a reason. Do not be afraid to use them. Negativity is truly contagious. Allowing this negative energy in your life creates more problems in the universe as a whole. Social media is a wonderful tool, but it can also be used as a weapon in the wrong hands. The best prevention to fights and drama is not allowing it to happen in the first place. If someone on Facebook or in your barn likes to pick fights with you, remember the block button is always your friend.
3) The 24-hour rule
It can be tempting to respond to a hater with a witty comment or smirk. However, it is very beneficial to resist this urge to fight when it is not necessary. It is important to stand up for yourself and others, but do not fight over minute things that do not matter. Feeding into drama allows for the cycle to continue. Give yourself 24 hours before responding and contemplate whether it is beneficial or not to continue the conversation. The major concept is thinking before acting on a defensive impulse.
4) Defend yourself, but be respectful
In some situations, it is often essential to defend yourself and others. If something is being done or said that is taken too far, do not be afraid to stand up for yourself. Be sure to consult your trainer, a good friend, parent, etc. if you feel the drama has become too much. Be sure not to lower yourself to the hater’s level when responding. In the equine industry, it is crucial to remain professional and respectful. Name calling, gossip and verbally attacking are all examples of what not to do.
5) Realize that the hater probably feels bad about himself/herself
Often, the hater will pick someone who exemplifies traits or success they wish they had. Envy truly is a monster within human nature. Remember that whoever is trying to start fights or put you down probably feels bad about himself/herself. Then, this feeling projects onto others and causes drama to cycle. The person may not even realize the hurt they cause on others through their unhappiness.
6) Keep your eyes on the “road”
The road to success is a long one filled with hills and detours. You are going to encounter many different people in the equine industry from different walks of life. It is okay to not agree on everything, but it is not okay to be disrespectful. Remember to keep your eyes on the “road”; essentially meaning to stay focused on your personal growth as an equestrian. Set goals and do not let haters discourage you or send you on a detour. Drama is just a distraction that is not conducive to living a happy, successful life in and out of the show pen.
7) Know that they are your biggest fans
When you think about it, haters are motivators. They are the people who continuously check your social media looking to see what you are up to. They are the people who talk about you to their friends. In reality, they are your biggest fans. Haters are also your success indicators. People only tend to take notice when you achieve success. Take their opinion as a compliment. You are a trailblazer, do not let them steal your spark.
8) Ultimately, forgive
Every person you meet is not your best friend. There are going to be people who like you, and there are going to be people who dislike you. When this dislike turns to hate, do not let that affect your happiness. Forgiveness is the only thing that can free you from the burden of drama. We are all just people trying to do our best. Humans are not perfect and sometimes say or do hurtful things. Do not let their negativity rain on your parade. Do not give them that power. Keep your chin up and carry on. The best way to prove them wrong is through your success and happiness.
About the Author: Cat Guenther is a devout equestrian and a senior at the Academy of the Sacred Heart. She has been riding horses for almost nine years and has loved every minute of it. Cat started and runs her successful show clothing business, Behind the Bit Show Clothing. Her favorite classes are horsemanship, showmanship, and trail. She plans to attend Michigan State University in the future to study veterinary medicine and possibly also business. Cat is excited to show the all-around classes in 2019 with Zippos Kat Man Do aka Teddy.
