Horseback riding is a challenging sport; it requires an unbreakable bond between horse and rider. Just like any athletic team, you must be “in sync” with your equine partner.
Whether it be an exhibitor struggling with a new class or even a new horse, show pen problems are bound to happen. These problems often lead to a loss of confidence in the arena which can be detrimental to a long-term show career.
However small or large these difficulties are, a friend’s support is a crucial component to overcoming obstacles. Even if you are not super close with a fellow exhibitor, it never hurts to give a few words of encouragement.
Here are some ways to help a friend struggling with confidence in the show pen.
1) Take time to listen
The most impactful way to help your friend is by listening. It may sound simple, but often lending your ear is all you can do. Horse showing comes with struggles, talking about challenges helps an exhibitor find a solution. Whether you go out to dinner or sit at the stalls, this type of conversation is very beneficial. Try to relate to their challenges.
2) Be respectful
Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. For example; you might excel in the western riding whereas your friend may prefer the equitation. Do not “talk down to” or belittle someone because of their lack of confidence. Respect is key. Being respectful starts with a basic consideration of another person’s feelings. Think about how you would want to be treated if you were in their shoes.
3) Be understanding
Understanding goes hand-in-hand with respect. Actively listen to your friend if he or she wishes to talk with you. We are all part of this crazy horse world and are in this together. Many equestrians can relate to another equestrian’s struggles, so don’t be afraid to talk to your friend. Horse showing is not easy, but it is worth it. Don’t forget, the most important thing you can give is your time.
4) Offer your help
It never hurts to offer your help when needed. This could be anything from simply carrying a grooming tote to the pen or fixing your friend’s chaps. Amateur Carey Nowacek offers some advice, “To help a friend struggling with confidence at a horse show, I would make sure to lift my friend up. Always be there to watch them and cheer them on. It’s always such a great feeling to hear people whistling and cheering for you as you are in the show pen. Give positive feedback after they show, and let them know that you support them.”
5) Encourage
Encouragement is a key component to a successful show career and friendship. A few words of advice or even a small pep talk can make all the difference to someone struggling with show pen confidence. Carey says, “I will ask my best friend, Johnna, to come to watch me warm up and let me know what she thinks I need. This always gives me more confidence because it’s great to have lots of opinions and know I am going in the arena with support behind me, not just from my horse trainer.” Support is everything. Even if you do not know someone super well, but see that they are nervous, a “good luck” or “good job” may make their day. We as an industry need more positive encouragement.
6) Put yourself in their shoes
You may hear this saying a lot, but it is beneficial in having a better understanding of your friend’s show pen struggles. Every exhibitor goes through a rough patch at some point in their show career. Even if you haven’t yet, envision yourself in their position. How would you react? How would you feel? Asking these introspective questions helps exhibitors better relate to one another.
AQHYA president Olivia Tordoff says, “I have struggled with confidence in the show pen, as have most of my friends. I try to remember that everyone’s struggle is unique, and I should never judge them. I always try to listen with an open mind and then ask if they would like to hear about tips or tricks that I use. I also think we have all been there and remember when someone came up and hugged us, pulled us aside to give us a boost or even just a smile. We need to be that person.”
7) Don’t brag
No one likes bragging. It is obnoxious and unnecessary. There is a difference between being proud of your accomplishments and going completely overboard. To someone struggling with a lack of show ring confidence, boasting about your achievements only makes them feel worse. In this industry, it is important to be humble. Exhibitors who are humble succeed more, both in and out of the show pen.
8) Look for the positivity in the situation
In every situation, there are positives and negatives. Take each situation in stride and do not get too far ahead of yourself. Try to find the good in everyone and everything. This may seem like a daunting task, but it is easier than you think.
Olivia comments, “I always try to think of that one thing I like about someone’s riding; it may be their shoulders, their leg or the kindness they show their horse, and let them know it’s noticed. Sometimes just hearing that someone appreciates a particular aspect of your riding, your hard work or your passion for the sport can go a long way to improving your confidence. I love seeing other people lift each other up. It inspires me to do it more. And I love getting a high five, a comment or a simple smile. It makes me feel like I’m on the right track and builds my confidence.”
Look at obstacles as an opportunity to grow and better yourself. Exhibitors who practice positivity are sure to spread that joy. If your friend is struggling with show pen confidence, help them to find the good in their challenges.
About the Author: Cat Guenther is a devout equestrian and a senior at the Academy of the Sacred Heart. She has been riding horses for almost nine years and has loved every minute of it. Cat started and runs her successful show clothing business, Behind the Bit Show Clothing. Her favorite classes are horsemanship, showmanship, and trail. She plans to attend Michigan State University in the future to study veterinary medicine and possibly also business. Cat is excited to show the all-around classes in 2019 with Zippos Kat Man Do aka Teddy.
