That right, it’s that time of year again. For some of you, the anticipation and thrill of showing at the iconic All-American Quarter Horse Show are beyond reason. For those of you who have been attending the Congress for 30 plus years, like myself, consist of the group trying to come up with a reason why we would want to ever put ourselves through the agony ever again!
So, you’ve done your homework, and you and your horse are ready to go. Check. You’ve got the perfect outfit put together. Check. Your tack is as clean and shiny. Check. You have crossed all of the T’s and dotted all of the I’s. Now you have to pack! Let’s face it, packing stinks! But packing for the Congress… Ugh! So, drawing on my many years of experience, I’ve come up with a list that I hope will help you.
1) Rent a U-HAUL – First thing’s first, rent a U-Haul. Seriously! It really doesn’t matter if you’ll be there two days or 20, the mountain of stuff you will tell yourself you need to have with you, “just in case”, will demand a front end loader to cram it all in. The rationalization may consist of, “Oh, I might need just one more pair of boots,” to my personal favorite, “Oh, I may need just one more bridle. Wait! I may need this one too. But wait! I rode in that one on a horse that we haven’t shown for two years, so it should definitely go!”
Just be sure to rent the appropriately sized truck. Size matters.
2) Bring Clothes for Every Season – Please make sure you bring a bikini, a parka, and a pair of swim fins to the show. Anyone who has ever been to Columbus in October can tell you the weather goes on the fritz the entire month. You may find it’s in the 80’s one day and snowing the next and don’t leave out the occasional monsoon or snow storm. There can also be gale force winds that miraculously appear just on the day that you show which makes the tent at the Celeste Center come eerily to life and intentionally attack your horse. Well, at least that’s what your horse thinks.
3) Show Off Your Fashion Style – I call this “Bling and Ball Caps” and ladies this one is for you. Most of us know the drill. The first part of this show is all about the bells and whistles. You strive for perfect hair, perfect makeup, the Diva mentality…you work it girl! That’s where the bling comes in.
Then, comes the second part of the show… Makeup? Well, it may still be on the one side of your face that wasn’t smeared down the arm of the couch after passing out at the conclusion of a 4 am ride. The perfect hair is now a slicked down ponytail adorned with a ball cap bearing the stallion name (or favorite horse show website) of your choice. Not to mention, the former Diva has now morphed into a horse show harpy of epic proportions. If approached by one, avoid direct eye contact…
4) BYOP – Better known as “Bring your own Pharmacy.” I have my own personal description about the environment at the Congress. Just imagine that you are living inside a petri dish. Every allergen, bacteria, virus, and most likely flesh eating disease, congeal into what has always been known as the Congress Crud. If you’ve had it, you know, and understand. So, be a good neighbor, spread the word to pack every 
precautionary item you can with you. That means Advil, cold medicine, antibiotics, hand sanitizer and, in severe cases, hire a little old Indian woman to send up smoke signals and chant up and down your aisle way. Whatever it takes to avoid the Curse of the Congress.
5) Cell Phone Awareness – Last but not least, be sure to pack a ribbon to wear for Cell Phone Awareness. Statistics have shown that there is a staggering amount of cell phone suicides reported during October at the Ohio Expo Center. Witnesses have given statements of seeing cell phones leaping to their deaths into toilets, physically throwing themselves under speeding golf carts, or allowing themselves to be trampled to death in the warm up pen in grizzly detail. Intervention is the key. It is our responsibility to our cell phone friends to recognize this growing problem. Please help stop cell phone suicide.
Final Thoughts
There you have it! My own personal list of things to bring along to help you survive the Congress. This, of course, is just the tip of the iceberg of what you are going to drag along with you, and you’ll probably drag twice that much home. Whether you are a first-timer or a fixture of time, each year brings new experiences, and hopefully new friends in the process.
So, finally, please don’t forget to pack your sense of humor. Everyone goes with the intention of bringing home the bronze trophy. Unfortunately, that dream will only be a reality for a lucky few. If you pack your sense of humor, it will allow you to view what can be regarded as a really intimidating endeavor, in an entirely new perspective.
When you think about it, it really is quite comical that we spend ridiculous amounts of time and money to get all dressed up and run around in circles. Then, we sit for hours watching other people run around in circles. Then, in some cases, we pay other people to ride around in circles. How crazy is that? My point is to pack a bit more than a pair of boots and your game face.
At this year’s Congress, you’ll be part of history as Congress celebrates its 50th anniversary. So, take those selfies, Facebook, and Snapchat, or…here’s a novel idea, actually talk to someone. Whatever the case may be, just make sure that this Congress is “PACKED” full of terrific memories. (And yes, the pun was intended)… Have a great show!
