“I packed away all the trophies, magazines, medals, buckles, and even my show clothes. The horses had become another thing I would mourn losing. I don’t think I realized it then, but looking back much of my identity was caught up in a trophy or winning. When you are faced with redefining your entire world, the things that once mattered to me didn’t mean as much.”
Abi Owings’ story is one of inspiration. Not only has she made a successful comeback to the show pen, she has come back from a trauma that she did not allow to define the rest of her life.
In the 1990’s and early 2000’s, Abi Owings was on top of the horse show world. Moving up from open shows to the Quarter Horse circuit when she was fifteen years old, the Georgia native successfully competed on a national level in both the youth and amateur division with horses that she helped put on the map including Island Fever, Lopin Leaguer, Smart Asset, Definitely Chocolate and Putyourselfinmyshoes. During this time, she accumulated 1300 AQHA points, primarily in horsemanship, hunter under saddle and hunt seat equitation, and won 55 All-Around and Reserve All-Around awards. Abi racked up countless top-5 and top-10 placings at the Congress and AQHA World Shows including being named Congress Champions and Reserve Congress Champions in 1999 with Lopin Leaguer. Despite not having shown for a long time, you can still find her name on NSBA’s leading non-pro hunter under saddle exhibitors’ list.
However, on November 21, 2003, her life changed forever. “About a week after the AQHA World Show in 2003 (where she was top-5 in Amateur Western Riding with Putyourselfinmyshoes), I was assaulted in our local park. I was attacked from behind by a stranger who had been following me in the park and was thrown up some concrete stairs. Being on an incline I was able to kick the man who attacked me until he ran away,” Abi emotionally recalls. “My brother, who I was talking to on the phone, heard the entire thing. He thought I had been run over and raced to find me. My attacker fled the scene. I had to ride in a police car alone to identify him in fro
nt of his home. There must have been 20 police cars lining the street. He walked down his driveway and instantly I knew it was him.”
Her attacker was sentenced to 20 years, including a mandatory eight years in prison for attacking Owings and charged with four counts, three of which were assault, battery, and attempted rape. “I believe in angels, and I believe one helped us that day. An evil man was locked away and was not able to hurt anyone else. I later found out he had done other things to other women but there wasn’t enough evidence to lock him away.”
Before Abi’s attacker was sentenced, she was given the opportunity to speak to the judge. “I read to her my journal about that day. I told the judge that I would spend the rest of my life fighting so that the terror he had caused would not define me. She may sentence him; I prayed she would, but what he had done to me would not go away with his sentence.”
Abi continues, “After my attack, it was time to say goodbye to horses and close that chapter of my life. It was a painful decision, but one that was almost made for me. You don’t always choose your circumstances, but you can control the outlook you have while walking through hard times. I needed to figure out how to live.”
For a long time, Abi says that she dealt with different emotions. “I didn’t want to be alone, so I stayed close to my parents and siblings. Nightmares were an every night occurrence so I hated falling asleep. For two or three years, I lived in an extra large men’s sweatshirt because I didn’t want to feel attractive or wear anything that fit. There is such a loss of identity when something so tragic happens, and it’s almost easier to blame yourself. I would question what I could have or should have done differently. Then I would remind myself about God’s plan. When I hated that it happened to me, I would again remind myself to be thankful and that God had given me strength to fight.”
With all of that explained, it’s easier to understand why she walked away from the horses. “I was no longer a road warrior and ready to haul my rig. I was doing good to leave the house with a family member.”
After her attack, It took about two years for Abi to get the confidence to pursue a new career. “I had a small job near my home until then. I was offered a job to travel with a modeling agency. I did some modeling and print work. My favorite was being a spokesperson for some very larg
e companies. I traveled two to three weeks a month with several different companies. I loved being part of their team and traveling. More than that, it was awesome to find something besides riding I excelled at. I would think about, even dream about horses often, but I knew the timing for that wasn’t right. I worked for the presentation company for eleven years.”
“As I get older and reflect I see how beautiful and rare my family is. Everything was always rooted in God’s love for me, and they tried to teach us from a young age to see ourselves the way Jesus does perfectly and wonderfully,” Abi shares. “Without that foundation, I am quite sure my life’s story would look much differently. The only way I am blessed to make a comeback or to have made it through the attack and attempted rape is because of my faith. God is solely responsible for everything. All the glory and credit is given to him.”
With the help of God, family, and friends, she finally has her life back. “I didn’t know 11 years ago when my attacker was sentenced that I could have a full life again. I am so very blessed. I remember my Mom saying to me, ‘Abi, you can choose to be bitter or choose to get better.’ I chose to start fighting the mental battle to live again. With the love, support, and prayers of those around me, God has helped me be able to turn a very dark day into something that has pushed me to be a better me. I have a saying that, ‘Our scars are signs of miraculous healing.’ Scars don’t go away, but how we view them can be so different.”
Six years after her attack, in 2009, she met her future husband Matt Tuiasosopo (pronounced Two-e-yassa-so-po), a Major League Baseball Player who has played for the Seattle Mariners, Detroit Tigers and in 2016 for the Atlanta Braves. “I prayed God would bring Mr. Right, and he did.”
Abi admits that up until she met Matt, if she went on a date, there would not be a second. “A friend introduced us and she had already told him I was a ‘runner’ when it came to relationships. So, the first present he bought me was a pair of running shoes,” Abi recalls and laughs. “He said, ‘I hear you are a runner. These shoes are not for you to run away, but for you to run back.’ My heart was safe with him, I dropped my guard and slowly began to trust him.”
Two years later they were married and they now have two little boys, Josiah, 3 and Haven, 1 (pictured above).
Matt had known about Abi’s love for horses since the day they met. He urged her for years to step back in the saddle, but she said the timing just never seemed right. Until one day when he said, “Your passion is what makes you feel the most alive. If that passion is horses let’s go, I am in it with you!”
Shortly after, Abi called long-time friends Bret and Candy Parrish to see if she could stop by and visit them during a long road trip. On this trip, she reconnected with two of her favorite people whom she considered as great role models growing up. Abi had also babysat the Parrish’s young sons, Cody and Chase when she was in youth and enjoyed seeing both of them as well. “We didn’t talk a lot about horses that day, but more about faith, life, and family,” Abi remembers.
Fast forward a few years to August 2015. Abi was at the Parrish’s farm in Pavo, Georgia when they brought out a young bay mare named Lexus Made Lady (Iggy) who is by the stallion, Machine Made.
“Cody and Chase had raised her. She was two and Bret and Candy felt she would be a great horse for me. When I looked at her, she had something special about her. But I was a little unsure about making a comeback,” Abi remembers.
Abi wasn’t sure if she needed more time to face her fears and answer some nagging questions. “There is fear that goes along with returning to something you have walked away from. It’s hard to explain, but the horse world was, at one time, all I knew. How do you walk away from something you have mourned the loss of, and then go back? I am not sure I processed all of that at the time.”
With the support of her husband and family, Abi says they “nudged her a little” to buy Iggy and finally take a step back into the show arena. “Iggy was an answer to many prayers and has become my true once-in-a-lifetime horse.”
“The Parrish family is thrilled to be part of Abi’s return to the show pen,” Candy Parrish told us. “Abi is a beautiful person and rider, but anyone who knows her is aware that her heart and inner beauty is her most beautiful quality. You hear that thrown around a lot but that is the absolute truth when talking about Abi! We are thankful to share in this adventure with Matt, Abi, Josiah and Haven.”
Cody Parrish showed Iggy for the first time at the Little Futurity in June and were futurity champions in the Three Year Old Limited Open Western Pleasure.
“My mother, the boys, and I went to the Little Futurity in Raleigh to watch her show for the first time. She and Cody did amazing. I saw so many familiar faces and was embraced more than I ever could have imagined. I heard from so many people ‘Welcome Back.’ Each time I wanted to cry. My boys had never been around horses. Josiah asked me what was on the ground, I said ‘that’s horse poop’. He proceeded to step in every pile he saw and laughed. I laughed too. Little Haven hasn’t put down a toy horse figurine since Raleigh.” (Pictured left)
Abi found out in Raleigh that the Tom Powers Futurity a week later would be the show that she would make her comeback. “It’s kind of funny to say I had to let Iggy guide me at that show because it was her second time being show
n, but she truly helped carry me. Ironically, I showed at the Tom Powers in the same shirt I had worn in the western riding at the world show for the last time in 2003 (pictured right). It’s a good thing I like vintage style things,” Abi says and laughs. “I didn’t know exactly when I would show Iggy so I hadn’t gotten clothes yet.”
At the Tom Powers Futurity, Cody showed Lexus Made Lady to win the Three-Year-Old $2,500 Limited Horse Western Pleasure and Abi won her comeback in the Three Year Old Limited Non-Pro Western Pleasure.
“It’s not easy stepping back into the horse world after such a long time but she’s hit the ground running because she works so hard and always has a positive attitude,” Cody Parrish said. “Maybe the coolest part about it is that she’s been able to share the whole experience with her two boys and her husband. There isn’t anyone more deserving and it really makes my job a lot of fun.”
Candy adds, “It’s so refreshing and a positive for our industry to have exhibitors and owners coming back into the business after a hiatus. It’s energizing to have fresh faces and reminds trainers why we do what we do when we see that big smile on a client’s face. ”
Cody’s success with Iggy most recently includes winning the BCF 3 Year Old Limited Open Western Pleasure at the NSBA World Show on Monday, “I love Iggy mostly because she has so much heart,” Cody said Monday after their win. “She gives everything she has all the time and it’s so natural and easy for her that it makes my job easy. The biggest thing that I have to do is just stay out of her way!”
For Abi, “Being gone for all of those years has made me appreciate it all so much,” she says.
Her appreciation is strong for her family, her faith, the Parrish’s, and for her partner, Iggy.
“When you look at her she has such kindness in her eyes,” Abi says about Iggy. “I love that. When she met my boys she nuzzled their heads. She loves to play with Candy’s dog, Bell. She would probably prefer to be really spoiled, but Cody and I have agreed to spoil her a little. I am not at the barn as much as I wish I could be, so I am thankful Cody has a soft spot for her. I joke with him when I am on her that she would follow him around if I let her.”
With the help of Iggy, Abi has come full circle and back to where she started – a winner in the show arena and in life.
“I have lived with a few quotes and verses to help push me,” she says. “Greatness comes through much adversity, and, Scars are signs of miraculous healing. I share my pain so that someone who is going through something will have the strength to believe in being restored. Life can turn around, dreams do come true. Since walking through my pain I have learned we all are given a story. One of my greatest joys is hearing people’s stories, I love to listen, and I know that no matter where they are or how dark a time in their life might be that God can and promises to work all things together for good. I believe in that and I am humbled by the opportunity to share a small part of my journey.”
Abi and Iggy are currently at the NSBA World Show where they will make their NSBA World Show debut on Wednesday. We wish them the best of luck and thank her for sharing her inspirational story with us.
