Horse shows can be a stressful atmosphere for anyone, but they can be especially tough on those who struggle with anxiety. Not all exhibitors are blessed with the ability to shake it off when things don’t go well.
The Facebook page, Mental Health on the Mighty has released a video that describes different things that people who suffer from anxiety would want the average person to know. Many of these situations can be related back to horse shows. As we all know, shows can be a very stressful atmosphere.
Here are some tips when dealing with someone who is extra anxious around show time.
1. It may seem irrational to you, but it is very real to me.
We have all been there. You are focusing or even fixated on one part of your upcoming pattern where you seem to already know that things will go wrong. Others may try to comfort you by saying, “That won’t happen” or, “It will only happen if you dwell on it.” In the minds of those who struggle with anxiety, nothing can convince them otherwise. It is not until they get to that point in the show ring when they can see that they had nothing to worry about all along.
However, this will probably not curb the anxiety from taking place the next time or even the time after that. Whatever is worrying the exhibitor might take a long time to get over and realize that it is going to be all right. There is no reason to try to rationalize someone’s fears. The exhibitor is the only one who has the power of accepting them on their own.
2. I need your support.
Though it may feel like you cannot reach or help a person who suffers from anxiety at times, they still may rely on support from friends and family members to make it through the show day. Purely being a shoulder to cry on or a hug in support can change anyone’s mood. No matter how the person is feeling on the inside, being in a supportive and loving environment can make all the difference in the world. We can all think back to that one time where we were especially stressed out but with the help of someone else, we were able to overcome and make it through.
3. Don’t take it personally if I isolate myself.
Though supporting an anxious exhibitor can do wonders at times, sometimes they just need their space, too. Some riders need more time to analyze and assess the situation before entering the show pen than others who can visualize it in their minds. With trainers, parents, and other exhibitors who give advice, sometimes this can be sensory overload. Giving exhibitors a few minutes to themselves can be the difference in a positive mindset versus being overrun with information.
4. Having someone around is helpful.
Whether this is the duty of a parent, sibling, significant other, or a friend, having someone to fall back on can be very beneficial. Showing horses is already a very stressful sport because we spend so much of our valuable time practicing and prepping. Sometimes, things can almost seem like too much where we just need someone to be able to open up to. Not only does this include troubling times, but also in times of victory is it nice to have one person that you can have around to celebrate your achievements with. Take a deep breath upon entering the pen and remember that a pat on the back after a good ride can help boost anyone’s spirit.
5. Even when things go right, I still might be uneasy.
Coming out of the show arena with a ribbon or trophy is something that everyone pushes and strives to do. However, even when we succeed, there still might be underlying stressors that can weigh on exhibitors. We have all been there before, where we have a pattern that is not spectacular, but the judges see something in us that we do not see in ourselves and we come out succeeding. Exhibitors who deal with stress and anxiety may still worry even when they win.
6. Really, it’s not you – it’s me.
Although that line is straight out of a Seinfeld episode, dealing with someone who gets more stressed than most is no laughing matter. Some have a harder time dealing with their anxiety and to those who are trying to help, they might be pushed away. However, it is important to keep in mind that not everyone wants help, but it is better to ask than not to offer at all. Some exhibitors cannot handle their stress but this has nothing to do with anyone else. Also, it is important to not take offense when the rider declines help. Everyone handles things in their own way and tries to do what is best for them, regardless of who is around.
7. Don’t judge me by my appearance.
All through life, we have heard the mantra, “do not judge a book by its cover.” This is especially true in the case of those who have anxiety. Though the exhibitor may look calm, cool and collected, this may be misleading. Some people have the power of hiding their emotions and pretending like they are not bothered when in reality, they may be stressing on the inside. It is a good reminder for everyone at horse shows that even if the exhibitor looks relaxed, this may not always be the case and sometimes nerves are easy to hide when in reality, anxiety is running high.
8. It is okay to reach out to me.
While others may take these stress signals as clear indicators to steer clear, the rider would embrace it if someone were to reach out to them. Having a fellow exhibitor to confide in or just to chat with while waiting on callbacks can help to ease the exhibitor’s mind. Do not be afraid to reach out to someone, even if they are new, inexperienced or worried. Making friends with these people may surprise you but it will also be a huge relief and help to have you on their side as well.
9. I tend to over analyze and it’s hard to turn my brain off at times.
Horseback riders are humans and we are not robots. We are all guilty of overthinking from time to time, but those who struggle with anxiety might do this more than others. It can be nearly impossible for these people to stop worrying or over analyzing the situation at hand. Though this may be seen as a downfall, it can also be used as a tool to learn from our mistakes and improve with every new ride. Riders who over think might not even know that they are guilty of this, but attempting to focus on the present can help when you are overcome with anxiety.
10. I’m still me.
Anxiety and stress can be very difficult to deal with as those who struggle with it wish to be just like other exhibitors who can keep their calm. However, those who struggle would like us all to understand that this does not change their character or the person that they are inside. Like many other personality traits, anxiety is just one part of what makes us unique and different from everyone else. The stress that comes along with horse shows can come and go in waves. Sometimes, exhibitors might have days where they are worry free. However, it is important to remember that we all have challenges to overcome but they do not define who we are as an individual.
Summary
Many exhibitors are faced with anxiety that makes it difficult to pursue their dreams. However, those of us who are on the outside looking in can follow these tips and help our friends when they need us the most. At the end of the day, the horse show will come and go but your horse show friends will always remember your help in their time of need.
