As the saying goes, having a baby changes everything. That statement may be even truer for women of the horse show world. Adding a baby to the already complicated equation of managing work, riding, showing and all of life’s other responsibilities might seem too daunting of a task to take on. Not so for the many women who choose to combine motherhood with their passion for their children with their love of horses and competitive spirit. GoHorseShow spoke with three mothers who are also currently active in the show ring and discussed how they balance horses, babies, and the lifestyle they love.
Katie Lacovara
Katie Lacovara of Flemington, New Jersey was stung by the horse show bug around age five. She says, “I spent every weekend with my Nana at the farm where she boarded her quarter horse. The owners of the farm gave me lessons and it wasn’t long until I started showing at open shows.” Katie now shows Mustbemyimgination in the all-around events with Keith Miller. She says her proudest moment in the show ring came in 2012 when she placed top ten in Novice Amateur Showmanship at the Congress.
It was appropriate that the first show she and Jason Nicoletti took their two and a half month-old son, Caden, was the All-American Quarter Horse Congress in October of last year. “Jason and I had a horse showing in the open two year old hunter under saddle with Kelly Woodlief, so of course we wanted to be there. Thank the lord for Gammys and great friends! I’m truly blessed to have such amazing people in my life.”
Lacovara says having the help of friends and family is what allows her to keep showing, even if that might look a little different now that Caden’s on the scene. “When I first found out I was pregnant I was beyond excited. I did however realize that my horse show life would no longer revolve around me. It would take careful planning and a lot of help from my family and friends.” She goes on to say that, “life to me is all about balance, and so is motherhood. Finding the time to ride or show can be tricky, being a mother will always come first but I believe it’s important to still find time to do what you love.”
Perhaps quality vs. quantity factors into the equation when balancing showing and motherhood, at least that seems to be the case for Lacovara. “I’d say my goals have changed quite a bit since having my son. I’m just happy to get out and show. Of course I still want to do well, I’m a competitive person. But, now I’m just thankful I still get to do it. I appreciate it more. I’m no longer chasing points or trying to qualify in something; I’m showing because I love it, because horses are my passion.”
Caden might be a bit young to set foot in a stirrup yet, but his mother hopes that one day he might share his family’s love for the horse world. “The friends you make and people you meet from around the country are priceless, and the responsibility you learn from taking care of your own horses can’t be replaced by much else. My fiancé is a farrier and says there is no better job in the world. I would love it if our son would follow in his footsteps and get to enjoy the horse world as much as we do.”
Kathryn deVries Mitchell
Kathryn deVries Mitchell lives in Vacaville, California where she shares her life with her husband, Cody and their daughters Kylie (16 months) and Hayley (4 months.) Mitchell says the addition of their daughters “has made our already busy lives all that much busier but we wouldn’t change it for anything.” The family lives on a ranch where Mitchell keeps several broodmares and babies. She says she loves that her daughters will have a chance to grow up with the life she once dreamed about. “I loved horses as a kid, but coming from a non-horse family I wasn’t able to get a horse until I had a drivers license and a job to support it. I am so glad that they will be able to grow up on the ranch and with horses right outside their window—what I would have given for that as a horse crazy kid.”
Mitchell trains with Kellie Hinely of Chino Hills, CA and shows The Vital Invitation in western riding and trail. She also shows her two-year-old pleasure horse, KM Suddenly Smooth in the non-pro and open futurities, as well as her two-year-old stallion, My Good Intention whom she shows in halter. Despite showing in several classes she says trail and western riding come in at the top of her list of favorites, they’ve also proven her most successful as she won the Novice Amateur Trail at the 2011 Quarter Horse Congress and the NSBA Novice Western Riding at the Congress last year.
In order to manage her life with two little ones and a full-time job, Mitchell says things in her horse life have been rearranged a bit over the last year, but competing is still a top priority. According to Mitchell, “I pick and choose my shows a lot more carefully – either finding ones that are easy to fly into, or shows where I can take the whole family and know they will enjoy it, like Del Mar or Oregon.”
Maybe the biggest change for Mitchell is that, for now, she keeps her horses in training full time. “I don’t ride at home anymore – and that may change when the girls get older. I just have broodmares and babies on the ranch. I find that I can get more out of flying down for a full day of lessons then if I was trying to maintain one at home – the horses stay tuned up this way and I don’t have to feel guilty about them not getting ridden.”
The time she makes for riding and showing means a lot, perhaps even more than it did before motherhood because Mitchell says that though she attends fewer shows, the ones she does go to, must count. “I try to work harder at the big shows to make sure I get my points and make every ride count. I have still been able to go to Congress and the World Show the last couple years.”
Mitchell plans to attend this year as well, showing in halter, western riding and trail. She continues, “I do set goals and prioritize my time at shows—sometimes I work remotely from the shows—and which shows I choose. I always make sure I get to my favorites.”
Though her girls are still young, Mitchell says Kylie is showing signs of falling for the horses. “Kylie went through a phase where the horses blowing their noses or whinnying really scared her, but thankfully she got past that. She had her first real pony ride on The Vital Invitation when we were in Del Mar recently and she loved, it. I was so glad, and relieved, that she liked it.”
No parent can know for sure what their child’s interests will be, but Mitchell is hoping her girls might follow in her boots. “I really hope they both like horses and showing with me, but then again keeping them in horses may leave me broke!” She jokes, “Okay so maybe I really hope at least one will have the ‘bug’, and the other can go fishing with dad!”
Kaleena Katz Weakly
Kaleena Katz Weakly of Shelbyville, Illinois is no stranger to the show ring. But motherhood is a fairly new venture to her now with the arrival of her son, Jax. She says that the seventeen month-old has become the center of her and husband Josh’s world. “Having a child shows you a new kind of love you never felt before, the one your parents always told you about. When you think you are having a bad day they just smile or giggle at you and everything is okay again. Jax is our whole world and he’s not scared of anything. He loves being outside with the horses or his daddy’s tractors.”
Weakly and her husband both enjoying competing and somehow manage to find time and energy to balance their passion with parenthood. “Both my husband and I show. Josh does the halter and I mainly show in all around events and western pleasure. He shows under the guidance of Andy Staton and Ross Roark, while I ride with Gilliam Show Horses and Lakins Quarter Horses. I have three horses to show this year; Hours Yours And Mine “Blondie” in the all around, Caught Me Looking in Amateur Pleasure and non-pro maturities, and my new horse, No Question Im Lazy in the three-year-old futurities and showmanship.”
With so many horses to show and events to exhibit in Weakly says it takes a lot of help and probably even a little luck to make it to the show pen. She says, “the phrase, ’it takes a village’ couldn’t fit more appropriately. A lot of time Josh stays home to run our implement business when it’s just my horses going to a show, so I need all the help I can get to be able to make it all work. It is important to us that Jax goes to the shows with us, and we do it as a family, as long as he seems to enjoy it too. It also takes a lot more planning, organizing and packing to leave for a show, so in a lot of ways it’s a lot more work. You realize how much you really love showing because sometimes just staying home is way easier.”
It’s not just horse show life that’s changed. The day to day has seen some adjustments as well. “When I first had Jax, I put my graphic design business on hold to enjoy him and see how our new life with a baby was going to unfold. I would definitely say we have tried to slow down and enjoy everyday with him, not rush into the future. You quickly realize what is truly important and what can wait another day.”
While many mothers might say that having a strict schedule is the only way they get things done, Weakly believes that sometimes the opposite is true. “For me it’s all about no schedule and a lot of help from family and friends to make the balance of motherhood and riding jive. When I’m at the shows, if someone offers to watch Jax, I’ll drop everything to go practice. I definitely have to use my time wisely. I also get a lot of riding done at night after I put him down for bed. At home my husband often goes to the barn with me so I can ride; and we are blessed to get help from Jax’s grandparents. At the shows we have a huge support system of friends within our barns when family can’t be there to help.”
It should come as no surprise that little Jax is already in love with the horses. His mother says, “now that Jax has caught on to riding the horses, he wants to ride every horse he comes across, even my husband’s halter horses. Which isn’t always the best idea. He really seems to love the horses and riding, we have already gotten him his own pony named Popcorn so he can grow up with it and have something to ride here at home!” Even more than showing themselves, the Weaklys would likely agree that watching their son enjoy the life they are passionate about makes all the craziness worthwhile.
Photos @ Ali Grusha, Jeff Kirkbride, Impulse Photography, Shane Rux
