Six Ways to Overcome Feelings of Horse Show Inadequacy

Have you ever arrived at the horse show, looked around at all of the big fancy rigs and felt an immediate sense of inadequacy, as if you were not equipped to compete? Maybe it doesn’t happen until you are warming up – you see some famous horse, trainer or exhibitor cruising toward the make-up pen and think “I can’t compete here.” Think Again

It is all too easy to compare yourself to others at a horse show. Fancy rigs finished in chrome line the parking lot, curtains draped with the biggest names in the business proudly display their presence and World Champions parade up and down the alley way as you pass through the barn on your way to the practice pen. It’s enough to intimidate the toughest of competitors and a feeling shared by every single exhibitor at some time in his or her show career.

Daydreaming about the life you wish you led is fun but can result in further depressing your sense of worth when you find yourself in an impassible gulf between your actual self and your desired self. Everybody has talent and skills begging to be uncovered but they are buried by trying to be somebody else.

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Comparing yourself to other exhibitors is a fundamental part of achieving show ring success but only when you are comparing performances not performers. It is a fallacy to compare yourself to others. For one thing, your perception of their life is based entirely on external appearances. No one knows what it is like to walk in another person’s shoes. Judges judge the performance, not the fancy rig, the perfectly adorned stall curtains or past performances.

Comparing yourself to others can result in your becoming overly self-critical making you feel less worthy than other exhibitors. The resulting look – eyes down, slumped shoulders, fidgety – does not impress judges. Entering the arena with an air of defeat negatively affects your score.

To overcome feelings of inadequacy consider these six tactics:

1. Recognize limitations and be the best at what you are. Denial or distortion of reality does not change the reality. Accept yourself as you are and build on your strengths. Danica Weber stands at just under 5 feet tall. She will never have the long elegant legs of 2014 AQHA World Champion Equitation rider Ariel Herin, but that has not stopped her from building on her strengths and winning Equitation first at the Novice Championships, and more recently, Reserve Congress Champion in Hunter Hack.
2. Absorb yourself in something bigger than you. Get involved in a worthy cause, engross yourself in superior standards and maintain ideal principles. You’ll find your greatest gifts, your next opportunities and find purpose when you lose yourself in a cause – something bigger than you alone. Get involved in a fundraiser with your local horse show, introduce someone to the horses or organize a clinic with a favored trainer your barn. There are millions of great causes that revolve around the horses.
3. Worship the right champion. This is probably the most important thing any of us can do. We often look up to people who are truly not worthy of our praise. A person’s public image has no real bearing on what makes a champion. Everyone is flawed. The more you know about a rider the more you see that you are not so different. Do not put people on pedestals. Outward appearances are just that – outside.
4. Decide what is important to you. Determining what is important to you helps you prioritize your life. Everyone would like to have more time off work. But deciding at the beginning of the year what horse shows you want to attend allows you plan the appropriate time off. If getting to the World Show is your goal, choose the event that best suits your personality, skills, available time, pocket book and your horse’s skill level. Plenty of poor movers have made it to the winner’s circle because their rider’s determination overcame the horse’s shortcomings.
5. Realize that you are in charge of your feelings. Only you can allow circumstance to make you feel inadequate. Recent scientific studies have proven that no matter your age, your brain can grow new gray matter. That means each of us has the potential to change our behaviors by changing the way we think about it.
6. If you find yourself being overly sensitive to someone’s remarks or a particular situation, analyze the exact circumstance that led to the feelings. Make a list of alternative reactions and draw from that list when confronted with the aggravating situation until you find a solution that prevents feelings of lacking.

It sounds super simple – like advice you have heard before. And it is never easy to overcome established mindsets. But it is doable – and nothing worth having ever comes easy. Just ask Kaleena Weakly how many years it took her to win her Golden Globe. For years fellow exhibitors have considered her unbeatable in Showmanship, yet the trophy she yearned for most remained illusive. Kaleena qualified and showed in Oklahoma City for the first time in 2002. She took home the coveted title of AQHA World Champion in Showmanship in 2014.

About Stephanie Lynn: Professional Horseman Stephanie Lynn coached her first AQHA World Champion in 1988. She has since coached, trained and shown World, Congress and Honor Roll horses across disciplines. She is a judge for AQHA, NSBA and APHA and has judged World Championship shows for each association. Most recently, Stephanie is the author of The Good Rider Series and A Lifetime Affair: Lessons Learned Living My Passion. The Good Rider Series is a library of resource material that is both practical and applicable in the barn and show ring for riders. Stephanie can always be reached through her website: http://www.stephanielynn.net to answer your questions, schedule a clinic or lesson.