In the eighth article of Stephanie Lynn’s series, “10 Steps to the Winner’s Circle”, Lynn discusses how being gracious is important to your success in the show pen.
The dictionary defines graciousness as being characterized by showing kindness or courtesy. It uses words like merciful, compassionate, elegance or ease, fortunate and happy, pleasant and kind. Gracious people are cordial, courteous and caring. Gracious people are grateful people. They know how to count their blessings. Instead of being angry that their horse threw a shoe prior to a class, they are grateful the farrier was there to fix it. Gracious people are also generous people often the very people who volunteer and make the show a success.
The characteristics described will go a long way in making you a better rider. How, exactly, can being nice and pleasant toward others help make you a better rider? Let’s take a look at the qualities that make a great horseman and thus a great rider.
Great riders:
1. Always put the horse’s care and well being in front of their own.
2. Are able to feel the horse and move in rhythm with the horse.
3. Respond to the horse’s moves while maintaining independence in their limbs.
4. Quickly adapt to any horse’s way of going.
5. Are patient and understand the difference between an animal acting out of a.) Fear b.) Stubbornness c.) Disobedience
6. Have an uncanny calm even when under severe duress.
Now let’s look at the corresponding character traits that go with these qualities:
1. Humble – a gracious person is slow to take credit and quick to lavish praise always giving thanks (the horse gets credits for success and the rider takes responsibility for faults).
2. Flexible and unafraid to fail – a gracious person does not monopolize instead is a good listener (good riders lead by listening first, are able to let go an know that they are not without faults).
3. Trusting – a gracious person pays attention to others never seeking to embarrass another (knows innately the horse’s potential response before it happens therefore can softly direct without dictating).
4. Open minded – a gracious person does not try to one up another instead often offers to lend a hand and is helpful and comforting (great riders seek to find the best way for the horse to do the job comfortably and according to the horse’s ability, never teaching by intimidation).
5. Compassionate – a gracious person is tactful and thinks before reacting (rider does not lose their temper or become embarrassed by their horse’s misunderstanding or mishaps).
6. Confident – a gracious person respects everyone’s contribution and understands they are not indispensable (a good rider know this is not their last ride and understands they are only a facilitator – it is the horse that is doing all the real work).
If ever you are to become a more knowing rider, you will have to recognize that there is inherent good in every situation – even the ugly ones. The ability to recognize, employ and then benefit from the lessons learned will determine your success. Be grateful for the knowledge that comes from the situation.You can be more gracious by understanding the difference between disagreeing with your horse’s behavior and being disagreeable. Sometimes you think you are owed something, have paid your dues and deserve to win. Temper your sense of justice. Stop or veer off to let someone else pass even though it is not their turn. Know when to give up arguing a point. Some days, you are simply not going to get your point across. Learn to understand when it is time to quit.
Be thankful and express your thanks. You will be amazed at the favor that results from a simple thank you. Guard against using ugly expressions. Your words set the tone for pending events. Be graceful in every aspect of your life. Don’t allow yourself to be trapped in toxic relationships or situations instead learn to extricate yourself from them. Everyone is entitled to courtesy even those who cut you off or snap at you to get in the gate.
And finally, show grace under fire. It is difficult to stay calm and cool under pressure but that is a trait success requires – in and out of the show ring. Develop strategies for dealing with situations and people that exasperate you. Learn what to do when you fall from grace, because you will. Your behavior after your fall will be more lasting than the event which caused you to fall. Most people are forgiving and understanding; ready to accept your regret. Your willingness to show your vulnerability and humility lets the other person see that you respect them.
Think about how someone reacts after being thanked for their services. Next time the show secretary snaps at you say “thank you” and “have a nice day” and see how she or he reacts. Although you may not see changes that instant, the secretary will remember your kindness. You will most likely find favor that comes your way after being kind to someone who is having a difficult time.
The gracious make the world a better place and enjoy the best in everything that comes their way.
About Stephanie Lynn: Professional Horseman Stephanie Lynn coached her first AQHA World Champion in 1988. She has since coached, trained and shown World, Congress and Honor Roll horses across disciplines. She is a judge for AQHA, NSBA and APHA and has judged World Championship shows for each association. Most recently, Stephanie is the author of The Good Rider Series and A Lifetime Affair: Lessons Learned Living My Passion. The Good Rider Series is a library of resource material that is both practical and applicable in the barn and show ring for riders. Stephanie can always be reached through her website: http://www.stephanielynn.net to answer your questions, schedule a clinic or lesson.
