GoHorseShow sat down with some leading trainers and their children to see what it is like to be a trainer’s kid. We received some insightful responses from many in the industry. We interviewed, Jackie and Katy Krshka, Bruce and Whitney Walquist Vicars, Cheryl and Megan Hawkins, and Buddy and Kaci Fisher. They all talked about their relationships with each other; how they handle the stress of always being under a microscope and expecting to do well, the possible jealousy of their clients regarding their children’s success in the show arena, and how the trainers balance their time with their children versus their clients. We would like to thank these individuals for sharing their insights and thoughts with GoHorseShow.
Katy and Jackie Krshka
World Champion Katy Krshka says that it has been great growing up knowing people in the industry on a personal level largely through her mother’s relationships and reputation. “I have grown up learning to be independent and how to prepare myself as well as my horse. I am not catered to and expected to pull my own weight if not more,” Katy says about her relationship with her mother.
We asked Katy what it is like learning from her mother. “It is both good and bad. Since I feel as though I am held to a higher standard, it seems I am always reaching for perfection. Although she may say she does not expect perfection, I feel an underlying tone that it is expected of me. So therefore, we have had our fair share of arguments,” Katy admits. “As I have gotten older, we have learned to work out our differences much better. I feel we have a great relationship. We get along very well. Mostly because we are so much like each other. We live and breathe the horses and get to do it all together. I am so lucky I get to experience it with such a wonderful horsewoman.”
Some of the disadvantages Katy sites is her being under the microscope often and also people making comments out of jealousy. “There have been times that it didn’t seem as though I could celebrate vocally out of respect to those that perhaps did not have success that day. I think there were times some were unhappy. Mainly, because of not having as equal success as I’ve been blessed to have.”
Jackie discusses how she deals with clients that have children that are new to her barn with regards to Katy and her success in the show arena. “When I take on a client with a child, we sit down and discuss this exact scenario. I assure them that there will never be a time I will not have their child or their horse prepared to go in the ring. If in fact I accomplish that, the decision of the judge should have no reflection on my daughter, her success, or my commitment to them as a client. So often clients want to blame Katy’s success or their child not having similar success on politics. What they fail to realize that as being the child of a trainer, my child has the opportunity to ride every waking moment. By riding side by side with me, she is exposed to a level of expertise by which she is learning even when she is not taking a formal lesson. Kids are very smart; they can pick up so much by watching how you train a horse and interact with it. This gives a trainer’s child a significant advantage over someone else.”
Jackie also mentions one of the disadvantages of being her daughter’s coach. “One of the greatest disadvantages is that you spend so much time together as trainer/mom. It’s only human nature that your child might find the need to be curious about other trainer’s ideas and training methods. I have always tried to encourage Katy to participate in other sports or activities i.e., track, basketball, so that she would have the opportunity to compete as an athlete without me being the coach,” Jackie explains.”Without a doubt, the most difficult challenge is balancing my relationship as trainer and mother. I have very high standards in regard to respect, dedication and being responsible. I had to work very hard at being able to draw a dividing line between my when my trainer hat went on and when I was a mom.”
Jackie continues, “Sometimes being a top trainer requires some very tough love and being extremely blunt and factual about where things went wrong and very often it points at the student. Most often, after I have one of those speeches with a student, the first person, they go to in order to seek consoling, is their parent. For Katy this had to be hard–I usually would wait a brief time and re-approach her with an embracing hug, to let her know I was always there for her.”
Jackie explained that one thing her father did (as she is the product of a trainer as well), was to send her off to another trainer to work for part of the summer. “When I was young, my father sent me to ride with Matlock Rose. It really made an impact on me. I have done the same with Katy. I think trainer’s kids need to experience another trainer. It helps them understand that maybe you aren’t as ‘mean’ as they think you are. They also find that other trainer’s are just as dedicated as you are, and often your child returns with a higher level of appreciation and respect for you than when they left.”
One kernel of advice that Jackie has for other trainers is to make sure their child is living out their dream and not yours. “From an early age, I never pushed Katy. I always had horses available, so that if she had the desire, she had the opportunity. If she wanted to go a competition, it meant she had to make practice time and be prepared to show. If she had something more important at school, other sports, then it was her choice. I tried to let her learn to balance managing time and responsibilities. One thing that makes me the craziest and you don’t see it very often with trainer’s kids, and that is the lack of respect. So many parents put up with disrespectful attitudes and their children treating and speaking to them in a very discourteous manner. I believe this at times ties back to the fact that the parents want it so bad, that they put up with this behavior, with the fear their child might quit if they discipline them.”
Jackie concludes her thoughts by saying that all parents and trainers need to enjoy their children. “Enjoy the experience; it goes by way to fast. Katy and I have shared so many experiences, good and bad. It has strengthened our relationship and created memories that we will never forget. I am so proud of not only the talented horsewoman that she has become, but additionally the gracious and humble young lady she is today. She has passion but also compassion, she is a competitor but also a great sport. Perhaps as her parent, I am prejudice, but I feel blessed to call her my daughter.”
Bruce and Whitney Walquist
World Champion Whitney Walquist Vicars says that she likes being a trainer’s kid because she gets to live with her horses.
“I get to ride just about everyday, so, I get lots of practice time and I get to really bond and understand my horse, which I think is so important in today’s competition. I also like living with my horse and trainer, because I have a pair of professional eyes always watching me to make sure I’m not only practicing, but practicing correctly. If I’m ever having a problem with anything I have my dad right there to help me figure it out.”
Vicars explains that one of the biggest disadvantages would be always having to sell her horses. “We have to sell my horses to provide a living, so, I don’t get to keep my horses as long as some of my competitors. And because I spend so much time with my horses, I become very attached to them, and it breaks my heart to sell them. I have a hard time separating my emotions from them and treating them like business. Even though I’m an amateur now, I still fill pressure of a time frame like the youth kids do. I put pressure on myself because I’m always thinking I’m only going to have two years (or whatever the time frame maybe) with this horse so I need to accomplish my goals quickly.”
Whitney does admit that there have been sometimes when she felt like she wasn’t getting the attention she needed. “There have been a few times when no one even made it the pen to watch my class and sometimes when a pattern didn’t go just how my dad wanted to, I think ‘maybe it would have if he would have helped more before the class.’ But, I sometimes like working on things myself because when I can figure it out on my own its very rewarding. I’m kind of like a kid saying, ‘Hey dad, look what I can do!”
Vicars says that she loves working with her father. “It isn’t always easy, and we have had our fair share of disagreements, because I like a little independence to figure things out on my own sometimes. Since, he is always pushing me to be my best, we don’t always see eye to eye. Everything is on so much more of a personal level when your dad is your coach, which is the best part and the worst part all at the same time! I think working with my dad and this being a family business makes it all even more special. The success we’ve had is that much sweeter because we did it together from the ground up.”
Bruce says that sometimes he does wish he wasn’t quite so hard on his daughter. I do remember a very important lesson when my daughter was playing softball. I was so intense and competitive that I took the fun out of it,” Bruce recalls. “My daughter soon lost her interest in softball. I learned to walk a fine line with regards to her horses. I pushed her but not to the point where she didn’t enjoy showing. There is nothing like working with your child and watching them win something really big. I am blessed that we shared the same passion in horses and we are still able to spend tie with each other–all because of our involvement with horses.”
Vicars advice to other trainer’s kids would be to treasure every minute. “There are only a few of us that get to experience this special relationship. It may be hard at times and you may want to just pull your hair out, but when you walk out of that pen holding a gold trophy that you know you and your parents dreamed about and sacrificed for and worked for together its all worth it 100 times over, its so special and so precious you just can’t imagine until you’ve experienced it!
Megan and Cheryl Hawkins
“Being a trainer kid is amazing and difficult at the same time,” Megan told GoHorseShow.com. “It has taught me many life lessons, such as being independent and if I work hard for something, it will lead to success. When I am not in classes, I ride almost every day. Over the years, I have learned so much; I love riding my horses and watch them change and learn new things. I have always been able to ask my parents how to do something. They will break it down and teach me how to do it–verses just fixing the horse for me.”
Cheryl also talks about what she enjoys about coaching Megan.”I knew she was born to ride. Megan always had what it takes to become a champion and a great horsewomen. She might not always have had a great horse, but she could make a great horse out of want she had,” Cheryl remarks. “Sometimes when she is riding at home and Mike and me are out there we might tell her two different things at the same time, and she gets a little frustrated; but it all works good. We have never pushed her to be at the barn every day and we never made her ride. I believe if you push to hard too young you just burn them out and that goes with any sport.”
Megan said the one disadvantage of being a trainer’s kid was when she was little she wondered why she didn’t get more attention. “As I got older, I understood that my parent’s customers always come first and they should. Another disadvantage of being a trainer’s kid is that our parents often sell our horses when they are finally broke, and we are just starting to win. I actually think this made me a better rider and taught me to work hard at something I already loved. It’s hard to always be on a young horse when you are show against great rider with really nice horses. I have learned thrive off of showing young horses because it’s such a challenge. Also, when I placed well I felt like I really accomplished something. Over the years, I have shown over 20 different horses.”
Other trainers have always been very helpful if she is by herself at one arena when her parents are helping another client, Megan says. “One year at the world show, my spur strap broke right before I was about to go in the finals of the pleasure, and my parents had already left to get a seat in the stands, and we were about to trot in the pen. I had one person run to get my mom’s spurs, and, then, I had another trainer let me borrow her spurs. It’s like we are a big family, and I am very thankful or everyone’s help. Even though my parents may not always have time to help me, they do try to always be there when I show. They have always been very supportive.”
Cheryl says that Megan’s hard work has finally paid off. Her daughter recently received a scholarship to ride for the Georgia Bulldog equestrian team in August of 2011. Her parents say they are very proud of their daughter and look forward to seeing her compete next year.
Kaci and Buddy Fisher
Horse trainer Buddy Fisher of Abilene, Texas and his 16 year-old daughter, Kaci Fisher, have been fortunate to have bonded over horses. How many teenage girls do you know like to spend Friday nights with their dads? Well, when you show horses–Friday nights are usually spent at the horse shows. Also, when you are trainer’s kid, you better learn to love to go to the shows, or you will unfortunately will be left to your own devices when your parents have to go off to the horse shows. Buddy and Kaci both sat down with GoHorseShow to talk about their special relationship.
Kaci says that one of the advantages of being the daughter of a trainer is that she has been given the opportunity to ride a wide variety of horses and she enjoys learning from her father. Buddy also says that it is a huge advantage for her daughter because she can always be listening and watching when he give lessons to other clients.
“I also don’t ride her horses,” Kaci’s father said. “She has to work through some of the problems she is having with her horse herself which I think makes her a better rider. The time I have with my daughter only comes around once–so I try to spend as much time as I can with her, and it has been really special watch her grow up around horses.”
An interesting note, Buddy says that he intentionally never had any other youth clients because he thought it might create a conflict with his daughters. Fisher concentrates on working with Amateur and Select Amateurs and tries to promote a team camaraderie with his clients. “If our clients don’t support each other–then whoever is causing the problems, just need to go somewhere else. This is supposed to be a hobby for most, and if people are not having fun and enjoying themselves than I think it just defeats the purpose.”
One of the disadvantages Kaci cites is when there are multiple arenas running at one time during a show. “There are usually conflicts with customers classes running at the same time as my classes. Even though he misses my runs sometimes, my mom is usually there to watch. Being a trainer’s kid my whole life I really don’t see any disadvantages, I just do my thing and he does his job,” Kaci says. “My dad has always found time to help my sister and I just like any other customer. He is always eager to help me with anything I need. Learning for my dad is very hard at times, but it is rewarding in its own way. I’ve learned that if you just listen to him, nine times out of ten he’s right.”
Buddy also mentions that she is appreciative when other trainers give Kaci pointers. “I know a lot of trainer’s kids that enjoy getting help from others in the industry. It does help every once in a while when they can receive outside help and advice. I’m pretty intense when it comes to my daughter doing well. I don’t cut them much slack and definitely don’t sugar coat things, but when she does well, I am the first to brag on her and tell her how well she did. I am so proud of my daughter and I am happy to be given a chance to spend so much time with her doing something we both love.”
Photo © Jeff Kirkbride
