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Editor’s Note: This article is a follow-up to a very popular article we did about pregnant trainers expecting their first child including Beth Case and Darla Lee. Read it here in case you missed it.
Working mom and TV star, Tina Fey, nailed it when she said, “I think every working mom probably feels the same thing: You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘This is impossible — oh, this is impossible.’ And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.”
All moms, at some point, can relate to Tina Fey’s sentiment. Add in a full-time job on top of that responsibility and, to many, the task would seem insurmountable. However, new mothers Darla Lee of Plain City, Ohio, mother to Dalton Lee, born April 15th, 2016 and Beth Case of Pilot Point, Texas, mother to Cody Case, born May 20th, 2016, have found a way to juggle the vast responsibilities of raising a child with the demands of being full-time horse trainers.
We interviewed Beth and Darla to see how they have adjusted to motherhood and how they have established their new “normal.”
Labor and Delivery
Both Darla and Beth agreed that the labor and delivery process was daunting and things didn’t go according to plan. Darla had studied the Bradley Method, which promotes drug-free natural childbirth. However, two days into labor, she had to have a Cesarean section. “The birthing process did not go as well as I hoped. I was so scared to have a c-section and in the moment, it seems like nothing is going according to your plan but in the end, it is all worth it and it all works out.”
After Dalton’s birth, he had to spend a couple days in the NICU for meconium aspiration, which, of course, was not in Darla’s plans, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. “The nurses and doctors took such good care of us and made sure Dalton was healthy. They educated us so much that by the time we got home, Dalton was already on a schedule and we had a lot more knowledge because of all the extra care we received.”
As far as the recovery from her c-section, Darla was pleasantly surprised at the resiliency of her body. Two weeks after Dalton’s arrival, she was already feeling back to normal.
Beth’s delivery lasted approximately 12 hours, however, it felt much longer to her because the pain was excruciating. “I got an epidural and there was still a spot that was hurting me. I asked for more and they gave it to me but shortly thereafter, they told me I had too much and turned the whole thing off. It was the worst pain I have ever felt. I even asked for a c-section and they told me it was too late. I thought I was going to die.”
As if the excruciating pain wasn’t enough,” she remembers. That moment that all mothers dread happened to Beth right after Cody was born. “He wasn’t breathing when he came out, but thankfully, they were able to fix him and then they rushed him out of the room.”
In the moment, the magnitude of what was happening didn’t hit Beth because there was so much going on. Later she realized how much worse the situation could have been.
Returning Home and Recovery
Both new mothers were lucky enough to return home with healthy baby boys. The next challenge that awaited them after adjusting to life at home was returning to work with their new found responsibilities.
Although Case wanted to start riding almost immediately, the doctors scared her into waiting two weeks before resuming her riding schedule. “I felt fine but the doctor told me I couldn’t ride for two weeks after birth and the side effects they told me could happen if I didn’t listen to them were enough to scare me into waiting,” she says.
Her first time riding was at the barn while everyone was away at the Redbud Circuit. “I felt great and I wanted to get back into the show pen. I decided to go to the Redbud where I showed three horses and got five horses ready to show,” she says.
Beth was the poster child for fit pregnancy. She kept riding until four days before she gave birth and, enviably, she was back in her normal breeches at the Redbud. The only thing that was different was that she wore a larger hunt coat since she was still breastfeeding.
Darla’s recovery from her c-section was better than she imagined. “I waited a month to ride and I started back slow and just rode a couple per day, but I was surprised how quickly I felt like my old self again.”
Darla was back in the show pen by the end of May, and although she still claims that she has ten pounds to lose to have her clothes fit the way she would like, she is back in her original show clothes and feeling great.
Managing time at the barn was another obstacle both moms had to tackle soon after birth. Luckily for Beth, on the days he is not at daycare or with her husband, Kevin, Cody seems to be perfectly at home at the barn.
“He has already ridden a few times and he loves it.” Beth puts his playpen or bouncer by the arena and he loves to watch and bounce while she rides. If he gets fussy, there is always someone happy to entertain him while she works. Darla had a babysitter come to the house on some days. On days when Dalton is with her, she and her husband, Brian, have found balance by taking turns watching him while the other rides.
Juggling Shows and Motherhood
Along with horse training comes horse shows and the new task of juggling parenthood with being on the road and the demands of long horse show days and nights. Darla claims that Dalton has already been to five states since he was born and is a natural born “horse show baby.”
At her first horse show with Dalton, Darla was stressed out about packing for him and forgetting essential baby gear, but now, they have the system down. At the shows, her customers are always there to help and Dalton loves them.
“It is so cool for me to see him recognize our customers and be happy when he is with them. Our barn functions like a family and my show moms are always there to help with him whenever I need it,” she says.
Beth’s system is to take each show one at a time as far as her plans for Cody are concerned. “I don’t have anything figured out yet. Each show is different and I have to think about the environment and if it will be a good place for Cody to be, how long the show is, and how busy I will be while I am at the show.”
Like Darla, Beth admits that she is very fortunate to have so much help at the shows. So far, Cody has been to the Redbud, Big A, Youth World, NSBA World Show, and the Select World Show.
At each show, Beth has had help with him or he has come to the show for a limited amount of time to visit. “I think the Select World was Cody’s favorite show so far. The select ladies, Laurel Champlin and Susan Knapp, were master babysitters, and they seemed to love watching him. I am lucky that Cody is very adaptable and seems to adjust to being around different people,” she says.
Baby On Board To Congress
With the Congress on the horizon, notoriously one of the most demanding horse shows of the year, both Beth and Darla have more planning to do to prepare for the show than in years past. Beth has decided that the demands of the Congress will be too much for Cody and has decided that it is best to leave him home. (Cody pictured right with his dad, Kevin)
“I know I will miss him, but the schedule is going to be too hard on him,” admits Beth. “I have 12 horses to get ready and the hours will be late and the weather is always crazy there. I think he will be much happier at home.”
Since Darla is from Ohio, she will have less traveling but she will still be busy at the show. Darla is not ready to leave Dalton at home and luckily, between her mother and mother-in-law, she will be able to have him stay at the show in a bus so she can spend time with him and take care of him when she is not busy showing.
“I am not ready to leave him home. I haven’t been able to spend a night away from him yet. I know Congress will be busy, but I will have a lot of help and I will make sure there is time for him in between riding and showing.”
Motherhood Love
One thing both moms have in common is their love for their boys and the desire to be the best moms they can be despite the taxing demands of being full-time horse trainers.
Darla says, “I tell people who ask me how parenthood is going that everything we do as a horse trainer prepares us for having kids; the sleep deprivation, multitasking, communicating with an animal that can’t communicate with you, trying to figure out their best routines, and getting them trained to a schedule is very similar to parenting. I feel like I was well equipped for parenting.”
Although their schedules are busier than ever, both Beth and Darla agree that it is all worth it. “Being a parent gives you the opportunity to experience a love like no other,” says Darla. “Having a person who needs you or loves you the way a child does is life changing. Sometimes I look at my husband and say, can you believe we made this baby? I am still in disbelief in the best way possible. We have been married for 13 years and we spent a long time just us before we finally had him and I think we appreciate having a child so much because of how long we waited.”
Additionally, Darla is surprised that she is neutral about wanting Dalton to be passionate about horses. “I thought I was going to want a little cowboy and I was going to push him to ride, but I already have changed my stance. I want to be his mom and let him be who he is and support what he wants to do. I am always going to be his biggest fan no matter what.”
Beth expresses the desire to shelter Cody from bad experiences and her desire to give Cody more than she had growing up.
“When I was younger, we didn’t have a lot and I want Cody to have more than I had. He is going to have a pony and many opportunities. I don’t want him to be spoiled, but I don’t think there’s any way around it,” she laughs.
Overall, while both new moms admit that parenting has its challenges, neither can imagine a life without their boys and both are excited for the memories yet to be made.
Best of luck to both of these new moms (and dads, too) and their handsome baby boys at their first Congress and World Show as parents. Although horse shows can be unpredictable, one thing is certain, the win photos this year will definitely be cuter than ever before with the addition of these two adorable little guys.
