Last September, I wrote “When is Enough, Enough?” and I am still getting questions and feedback from that article. I can take a hint! I figured you may not have had enough of the topic, so I wanted to expand. The question I asked in Part One was, “When is it time to call it quits? When is enough, enough?”
When your purpose for showing has changed
People start showing horses for many reasons. Many people start showing because it’s a family affair while others get into showing when their love and passion for horses leads them to enter competitions. No matter the reason, people show because of the feelings they get when they participate.
Where things go awry is when people show because it’s what they’ve always done, which leads to burnout and frustration. People who fall into this category should spend some time updating their purpose files. If you can identify with this, grab a piece of paper, a pencil and an open mind and write the following across the top. Showing horses is important to me because…
Then jot down whatever comes out without judging or filtering. When you are finished, take a look at your list of the reasons why you are showing NOW. If any of your reasons give you feelings of motivation and excitement you have tapped into a new found passion. If you don’t feel inspired with anything on your list, then it may be time for a break.
When it’s only about the results
Have you ever been at a job interview, and the interviewer says, “A runaway carriage is heading down the tracks straight for a group of five people. You notice a switch that will divert the carriage onto another track with a hitchhiker walking with his back to the commotion. If you divert the carriage you will kill the hitchhiker. Is it right to pull the switch? This is a classic example of a moral dilemma. The horse show moral dilemma may be something like, “If you had a poor ride and still won the class, would you be happy?”
If showing is only about the results and you are not getting the results that you want, then you may have had enough. The key to staying in the game is to not make things into an either/or situation. Pulling the switch to change the direction of the train is not the only solution – just as winning is not the only outcome. At our house, we don’t think of horse shows as a place where we compete to win, we think of them as ’family vacations’ with our horse.
When you could quit or keep going
Quitting showing is not exactly like a divorce, but I think Dr. Phil may have a good point when he says, “You know you’re ready for a divorce when you can walk out the door with no anger, frustration or hurt. Otherwise, you’ve got unfinished business.” If you are quitting out of anger or frustration, then you will probably regret your decision. Give yourself some time off and once you have some distance from the show pen, you may feel differently. If you are still on the fence, these two strategies may help you decide what direction you should take.
Get an outside opinion
Sometimes we have a case of barn blindness, and that can work for or against us. If we don’t see the little flaws in our horse or our riding, we may have a case of ignorance is bliss. On the other hand, if all we focus on is what is wrong, those things can get so blown out of proportion that they outweigh the good. In either situation, you may want to get some feedback from somebody that you respect who is outside of your barn. Ask them to give you an honest assessment of your abilities, and what they think you can do to improve. Sometimes a small tweak in how you prepare and present you horse can make a big difference in your performance.
When you are on top
I spent the majority of my corporate life managing sales people, and about once a month, one of them would come to me and hand me a letter of resignation. Typically, the person who wanted to resign was a person that had been successful in the past, but they were in a self inflicted sales slump. I would tell them that I would happily accept their resignation, but I couldn’t do that until they sold something, and I would personally do whatever I could to ensure they could close a deal. Then, if they decided to resign, I would accept their resignation and even help them pack up their belongings. For some reason, the people who stayed seemed more energized about their jobs, and the people who chose to move on were very successful in their new jobs.
Nothing is set in stone
Lots of people take breaks from things, so even if you decide that your heart isn’t in the game, you can always jump back in when your passion returns. After all, quitting something is like eating a rich dessert. When you’ve had enough, you’ve had enough…for now.
Please comment below and let us know why showing is important to you.
Kirsten Farris is a regular contributor to GoHorseShow.com and a Certified Sport Consultant, Certified Equestrian Fitness Trainer, and the Author of The Workbook for the Equestrian Athlete – A Guide to Showring Success. For more information contact her at:[email protected] © 2013
