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Elizabeth “Spike” Roberts Brewer: On Love and Loss

Sometimes life just doesn’t go as planned. Multiple World Champion APHA exhibitor Elizabeth “Spike” Roberts Brewer of Cable, Ohio had a bittersweet year in 2010. Her father, Don Roberts, suffered a hemorrhagic stroke on New Years Eve, 2009 at the age of 67. This highly respected farmer, friend, father and grandfather never regained consciousness and passed away a few days later.

“Basically, he kept having multiple bleeds in his brain and there was nothing we could do to stop them,” Elizabeth told GoHorseShow.com. “He passed away surrounded by his family and friends. My dad was the rock for our whole family and in so many ways we never even realized that until he was gone. We were lucky to be a close family so had each other, but my parents were married 40 plus years, so it was life changing for my mom and us to not have my dad a phone call away.”

At the time of her father’s death, Elizabeth was engaged to be married and nearly ten months after his passing, she was married to her soul mate, Jody Brewer in a small church that she grew up and attended ever since she was a child.

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“I was the typical old fashioned gal who always dreamed of getting married in our church. It was a simple wedding, and I was lucky to be surrounded by family and friends from all over the country who made it the best day of my life,” Brewer fondly remembers. “Everyone says how nervous you are on your wedding day and how normal that is, but ironically enough, I was not nervous at all. I had no doubts Jody was the man of my dreams, and I was ready to start our life together. It is one of the few things I have been one hundred and ten percent sure about in my life.”

The only thing missing to make it the perfect day was her father. Her dad’s best friend and farming partner for over 20 years, Robert “Bob” Behling, walked Elizabeth down the aisle. Brewer said that Bob and his wife are like family to them, so, it made sense that her dad would want Bob to walk her down the aisle.

Elizabeth and her family has honored her father’s memory in several ways. “We had a memorial candle and flowers for him at our wedding ceremony,” she said. “Also, we have a huge memorial rock that my dad found when digging our arena when it was being built. He loved that rock so we had a bronze plaque made as a tribute to him that is mounted on the rock and has lights shining on it at all times.”

The Robert’s family has been heavily involved with the APHA industry for several years. This family is full of APHA World Champions. Brewer says her most memorable horse show moment was in 2009 when she and her famous mare, Shes Inviting, were World Champions in the Amateur Classic Junior Western Pleasure at the APHA Fall World Show. The family raised this mare, and Elizabeth showed her mother, HF Skipa Tizzy (Tizzy), in youth and was very successful and talked her parents into keeping her to breed. Unfortunately, Tizzy foundered and had to be put down, but they were able save some of her ovaries and sent them to Colorado State University to try an osteocyte transfer for one last chance to produce a foal. That one miracle foal was, She’s Inviting. (Read more here about this mare from an article we posted in November 2010, Miracle Baby from APHA.COM. Pictured left is Shes Inviting with Kenny Lakins aboard at the 2007 Tom Powers where she won the Color 3 Year Old Open Western Pleasure. Don and Nancy Roberts also pictured.)

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“My father always said he would never sell Rosey (Shes Inviting) just because she was the last baby we got from Tizzy,” Elizabeth explains. Before we ever rode her, he swore he would never sell her. We were lucky she turned out to be such a good show horse because my dad would of kept her forever no matter what.”

Brewer’s mother, Nancy, also was 2010 Reserve World Champions in the Masters Amateur Senior Western Pleasure on Rosey, and her sister, Carrie Derr, is a past APHA World Champion in the Youth Hunter Under Saddle and Amateur Junior Western Pleasure before she stopped showing to concentrate on raising a family. The Robert’s Family is fortunate to have had the opportunity to work with great trainers like Steve Sauder, Jeff Long, Kenny and Ashley Lakins and Heather Brower.

Brewer mentions that her dad was as unique as they come. “They broke the mold with him I think, that is for sure. He was a typical farmer and drove an old, beat up pickup truck that he just loved. He was a crop farmer, but also loved making hay. He had a lot of pride in his hay and he was the guy that every other hay farmer in the area would watch to see when to mow their hay to get started,” she said. “He never knew a stranger, that’s for sure. He loved talking to anyone about anything. Of course, he loved talking about the babies we raised, and he was very proud of my sister and I and all our accomplishments with the horses. He was the kind of guy, if he liked you–he would give you the shirt of his back. He was just a good man, who was as honest as the day is long, and he had a huge soft spot for animals.”

Elizabeth also talks about her favorite memory of her father. “It was probably the last time my dad came to the world show. It was in 2007, and my dad flew down with my sister and her son Andrew. My dad had not ever been to the World Show in Texas, so I’m glad he got to come. I was fortunate that year–it was the first and last time my dad got to see me win at the world show. He always stayed home from the world show because he didn’t like to be gone that long from the farm. It is prime hay season in Ohio, so you had a hard time tearing him away. But, when he knew his grandson was going too, he softened up and came down for a few days. After his grandson, Andrew, was born, he replaced my sister and I as the apples of his eye. And Andrew was as crazy about his Papa as he was about him.”

When we asked how she dealt with the loss and any advice she may have for individuals who have lost their parents–she pauses and says that it is a continuing process.

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“I am not good at advice. It’s not easy, and I wish I had a magic potion to make the pain subside in our hearts, but I don’t. Deal with it, and don’t be afraid to think about it, but do not let it overwhelm you,” she explains.”Focus on tackling a day at a time and just work your way up from there. I knew my dad would want us all to keep going and that has given me a lot of strength just knowing he wouldn’t want us to miss out on the rest of our lives.”

Her husband, Joseph “Jody” Brewer IV, grew up in Eastern North Carolina where he had a few trail horses, but never showed or even did 4-H. He didn’t start showing until later in life. Elizabeth and Jody met at a horse show and have been together ever since. This talented horsewoman says that her new husband reminds her of her father.

“I remember my dad’s last day in the hospital and we all had our chance to say our good byes in private. Jody was with me and he said ‘Mr. Don, don’t worry. I will take care of your daughter and watch over Miss Nancy and Carrie.’ I still remember that and I knew he would. Jody told me a long time ago that he promised my dad he would take care of us no matter what, he always has. The funny part is that I never realized till my dad passed away how much Jody reminds me of all the good things about my dad. Just his demeanor, being laid back, simple in so many good ways, and just his strong work ethic and morals. I strongly believe God knew when he put Jody in my life not only to be a great husband, but to help me because he took my dad early.”

Brewer told GoHorseShow.com that words could not express the gratitude to all her friends and her family for surrounding her, her mom and sister at the hardest time in their lives. “One thing I learned in the tragedy was that how even when life hands you a terrible hand, I found myself lucky to have the strongest support team that gave me strength to keep going. Faith, family and friends are three things I leaned on more than I ever imagined I could.”

Thanks to Holman photography, and Elizabeth Brewer for providing these photos.

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