“ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END – There is an end to everything, to good things as well.”
This proverb which dates back to Chaucer has been weighing heavily on my mind. As I approach the fifth anniversary of the purchase of my beloved mare, Hopeful Assets has become as much a part of my personal identity as my own name. Who knew on that fateful day in 2005 when we loaded her on the trailer for the first time, that she would become my once-in-a-lifetime horse.
In hindsight, I’m ashamed to admit that initially I had little interest in even considering the mischievous three year old who had tried to buck me off the first time I rode her. Fortunately, my parents saw something special in Hope from the start. Bred by the late Sandy Balzer, I learned by chance that Hope’s name was selected out of optimism in the face of a series of incomprehensible
circumstances in her well known breeder’s life. After losing her husband tragically to an accident while assisting a foaling mare, Sandy also sadly lost her personal battle with cancer. Her great legacy as a breeder lives on through her final daughter out of the brilliant producing mare, Gypsy Loom. I am proud and honored to be part of that success. Gigi Bailey insisted that “fate” had brought Hope and I together, and told me she was confident that her late friend had a hand on my shoulder, and would always be there to guide my path on the spirited brown filly. Armed with this knowledge, I regrouped, and have never looked back.
Today, after achieving four back-to-back AQHYA high point hunter under saddle titles, and establishing her place in the record books as the highest point earning AQHYA hunter under
saddle horse in history, I can’t imagine life on the road without Hope. So I ask myself, “How will I ever let go?” With just one more year left in my youth career, I figured I better ask those who came before me, “What’s the secret to letting go?” I sought the advice of some of the top exhibitors in the industry who all seemed to let go with incredible grace; Kristin Mazzarini Martin, Kristen Glover Galyean, Julia Dawn Taylor, Nicole Barnes, Laura Kathryn Gilmer, Breda Dean Kennedy, Stephanie Scheid Griffin, TW Grose, Brooke Ingstad and Marissa Dalton. Each have had to say good bye for various reasons to their once-in-a-lifetime horse who they all credit for helping to shape their careers, as well as their lives.
My first stop was fellow Ohioan, Kristin Martin who has recently gone down this road with the infamous 8-time World Champion gelding, A Certified Edition (“Winston”). Kristin told me, “Winston and I are like peanut butter and jelly. Both are good separately, but they are so much better when they are together.” It wasn’t
always a bed of roses for this duo, and Kristin confided that the first six months she owned Winston, were simply awful. I could soooo relate when she acknowledged that he bucked her off the very first time she rode him, and told trainer Bruce Vickery to sell him to the first person that offered money! Kristin recalls Winston being so tough that she would barely be able to walk to class during the week as a result of “riding her butt off.”
When last year he did not seem like himself at Congress, she just chalked it up to old age and figured he physically couldn’t do it anymore. Kristin said that it was shocking when a vet informed her after the World Show that Winston had been sick for some time. With a heart as big as his massive frame, Kristin commented that he “is so amazingly talented that he masked an illness for several months.” I could sense vulnerability when she remarked that some judges had become critical of Winston, and it devastated her when people assumed that winning everything was easy as though it had just been handed to them. They had not seen the hours of sweat and tears that it took to get there.” When I asked about Winston’s possible retirement, Kristin said that the 12 year old is currently home rearing in the pasture like Black Beauty. “Just don’t look for one of those big retirement parties anytime soon.” While Kristin weighs her options, she wants to be able to bring Winston out again if he feels good enough. “He is a show horse, a competitor to the max. Who knows what the future holds for us….”
If you are a die-hard exhibitor, chances are the name “Lucy” is more synonymous with this Kristen than it is with Desi. Boasting a record that you could only liken to Elvis’ recording career, the pair of Kristen (Glover) Galyean and Vital Signs Are Good amassed a staggering NINE World, and TWENTY SIX Congress Championships!!!! A blonde girl like me would need a degree in statistics to even keep track of a record like that!
After a highly publicized sale of the legendary mare to the Moran family in the fall of 2009, Kristen still gushes over Lucy with amazement. Kristen knew Lucy was the one right away. She recalls seeing horses like Zippo Ltd and Conclusive Bar Cody and prayed “That one day I could have a horse like that,” pledging that she would work as hard as possible to be perfect. Her prayers were answered, and she credits that “God went above and beyond when he blessed her with Lucy; she was better than I could have ever dreamed of.”
With a relationship that spanned over seven years, Kristen credits Lucy with defining her career. She never felt pressure from the industry to retire the mare, but had privately confided to those close to her that the 2009 majors would be her last even before contemplating a sale. Moving on is definitely challenging for Kristen, and she admitted that selling Lucy was the toughest day of her life. “My husband grabbed me and I just buried my face in his chest until she was gone. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Everyone loved her, as she was part of the family. She will always have a piece of my heart.” Although she admits that it is different entering the arena on a horse other than Lucy, Kristen has the unique opportunity of carrying a piece of her always through her babies. (Hear that Dad – Hope’s yearling is NOT for sale!) “I just felt like she and I had done everything we had set out to do. When I needed her to give it 100% she would give 110%. She was funny about that.”
When Kristen Galyean acknowledged that she prayed for a horse like Zippo Ltd, I had to know more about the prolific horse and rider team of Julia Dawn Taylor and “LT”. Can you say 5,695? No, that is not the amount that Julia paid for her gelding, THAT IS THE NUMBER OF LIFETIME POINTS HE EARNED! I know what it feels like to put over 1,000
points on a horse, but that number is simply staggering. With a hunter/jumper background, Julia admits that owning an all-around horse that specialized in western events was a unique challenge. From the beginning, she always knew that he would be great in spite of the fact that it took six months for LT to quit testing her! Julia recalls one western riding class where they did 14 lead changes. LT just changed wherever he felt like it because “He knew that I didn’t know any better!”
Describing their six year relationship together as a “fairytale career,” Julia admits to being extremely fortunate. Julia’s decision to retire LT had been contemplated for several years, before a “mystery” lameness later attributed to Cushing’s disease forced her to scratch most of their classes together at the ’06 World
Show. She adds that “He loved to show – so when it stopped being fun for him, it was time to let it go. For me personally, it was extremely difficult because it represented the end of an era in my life,” but Julia went on to admit that she “felt a little relieved to have the pressure off. I had been maintaining a level of competition for so long that I was bound to crumble under the weight of all my other commitments.” Julia points out that LT was her once-in-a-lifetime horse, though she has won the Congress on another horse since. While most would expect her to say that her best memory is a world championship, Julia confides that the first thing that pops in her head is an image of LT in a work saddle just going for a ride. “So I guess that’s what is really important to me.” Julia also reports that “LT is doing great, and he can still do a mean flying lead change!”
Stephanie (Scheid) Griffin’s story began with tragedy before she acquired Scotch Margarita. Her youth horse had been leading the nation for the all-around when lightning struck and was tragically killed. After begging her Dad for a new horse, he finally relented. Although Rita was over their budget, the persistent Stephanie flew to Denver by herself and fell in love. After some additional begging, the purchase was made and Stephanie’s dutiful Dad set out for the northwest corner in Iowa to pick the mare up in a little steel bumper pull during a January snowstorm. Not surprising I guess that, Stephanie’s Dad has never been to a horse show since!
Fondly describing Rita’s personality at first as a “ticking time bomb,” I could only laugh at the comparison that I felt when I started with Hope. Stephanie is still truly amazed that Rita’s career spanned a whopping 12 years, and added that Rita was never injected or had bute. After seven World and Congress Champion titles, Stephanie’s decision to retire Rita was not based upon pressure from the judges, although she did admit to feeling pressure from fellow exhibitors who would ask “Why do you keep showing her after all these years? What do you have left to win?
Surprisingly, a change in the proper pivot foot for showmanship under AQHA guidelines eventually led to Rita’s retirement. After winning multiple majors in showmanship, to suddenly have to switch to the other foot after 10 years of competition was really difficult. Although the pair actually won a Reserve World Championship turning on the wrong foot, Rita’s amazing turns were never quite the same which ended up being a major factor for Stephanie. Like Kristen Galyean, Griffin said that it was “probably easier sentimentally than it is for most people with that once-in-a-lifetime horse because it was her baby that I was able to move on to.” Today, one of Stephanie’s greatest thrills is watching as Rita teaches Stephanie’s best friend’s daughter how to ride.
Sorry, but I just can’t write a story without a blurb about my friend, Doug Carpenter. This next pair credits Doug for selling her that once-in-a-lifetime horse under the guidance of trainer Rick Skelly. I grew up marveling at the gorgeous horse and rider combo of Breda Dean (Kennedy) and Diget Dancer. Purchased straight off the racetrack, the mare racked up countless awards, including Congress champion, and Amateur Supreme Champion honors. In addition, Diget is a World Champion, 8-time Congress winner, and an AQHA Performance Champion.
As a highly successful businesswoman, and President of a major insurance company in Florida, Breda applies her no-nonsense professional principles to her show career and decision making. Breda never felt pressured to move on, and never allowed people growing tired of her
on the same horse to influence her decision about showing Diget. “Do what makes you happy, because life is short.” After suffering a series of setbacks in her riding due to a serious spinal condition, Breda keeps a great attitude about her future in the industry after Diget which is certainly an inspiration to me. She adds that while she hopes her career was not defined entirely by Diget since she can no longer show in English disciplines, Breda maintains a positive outlook. “Forward motion is everything, and the future is what you make of it. I take it as a personal challenge to be just as successful with my new horse (in western events) as I was with Diget.”
Although she was in a position several times to sell Diget, Breda elected to retire to the mare and made the decision to leave her with longtime friend Ellen Jost who continues to enjoy her as a successful broodmare today. I wouldn’t have parted with her for any amount of money. Ellen loves her so much; she is in the best care. I wouldn’t want anyone else to have her.”
Speaking of love, this next duo may take the top prize.
How many people can say that they traveled in the back of their trailer perched in the hay manger with their horse on the way to shows? Laura Gilmer and Son of a Rebel can! Although she admits that it wasn’t the safest way to travel, Laura notes simply that the pair was “joined at the hip.” She remarks that she would have never considered selling Rebel and referred to her and her “best friend” as “inseparable.” That is the kind of script that movies are made of!
The youngest AQHA all-around youth in history dominated the major shows, including being
named three time Congress high point youth. Still hung up on her first horse at the time of his purchase, “I kept telling my dad I didn’t want to show Rebel,” Laura admits. With the papers still not in their name, Laura was forced to sit back and watch her Dad show Rebel in the Open classes
at Murray, Kentucky. “He started winning all the classes so I started paying attention!” Needless to say, from then on, he was my horse.” After he had earned an impressive 2500 lifetime points, Laura went to extremes to care for Rebel when he showed up 3-legged lame one day. Tragically
Rebel may have suffered at the hand of someone who intentionally set out to injure the horse on purpose. After suffering life threatening laminitis as a result of his pain, Laura made the very difficult decision to put her loyal partner down. Although he is buried in their pasture, Laura still does not know the exact spot as she and her Dad could not visit his gravesite since they were so distraught. To this day, she explains that Rebel getting hurt, and having to put him down was the most devastating event in her life.
Owner Nicole Barnes describes her relationship with Zippos Ace Of Spades as just a girl and her horse. It wasn’t until after his
untimely passing due to complications from laminitis, that the unassuming Barnes became aware of the legions of his fans when she was flooded with cards, notes, emails and Facebook posts. Their support has helped her move forward and cope with the difficult process of “letting go.” This Superstar team’s highlights include seven-time youth/amateur/select World Champion, two-time youth/amateur Reserve World Champion, and two-time amateur World Show All Around winner. Not bad when Nicole’s mother questioned whether they had purchased the right horse initially.
Nicole’s one regret is bittersweet. The toughest moment of her show career was when her grandfather passed away in June of 2005. She credits him as the “one that got me involved with horses and always supported me 100%. I won my first World Championship later that year in August. I really would have loved for him to have been there for it,” she explained. Nicole’s grandfather was undoubtedly watching proudly over the pair every step of their way. I have the feeling he and Ace will continue to watch over Nicole as she puts her best foot forward on
her grandmother’s horse.
The great thing about showing is all the friends you make along the way. Among peers my age, several have had the great fortune of owning a memorable horse, including my fave 13 and under crush, TW Grose. Under TW’s direction, Leaguer Legend has certainly lived up to his “legendary” name. TW will never forget the fateful prediction that the late Bobbi Pullin made when she told TW that Sam and I would win the World in showmanship one day. He remarks, “I will always be grateful for her belief in us.”
In addition to winning both Congress and World championships in showmanship, TW was also most notably a two-time AQHYA all-around champion. To the naysayers who think a horse is spent by age 7 or 8, Sam is the exception to the rule winning the performance gelding title at the tender age of 14! After all his accolades, TW said that they never really considered selling Sam, and that being able to retire the great gelding was the best thanks they could give him. Today he is still kept in show shape, but runs out with his “donkey” buds in the pasture.
My longtime OQHA friend, Marissa Dalton took the unique approach that she and her horse would retire together. Wait, backup…What you say? Marissa said she actually retired
from the western pleasure discipline along with her NSBA Hall of Fame mare, Vested Faith, to take up the all-around events instead. With the reality that Faith may have been her once-in-a-lifetime pleasure horse, Marissa still jokingly recalls being totally “embarrassed” by the seven-time Congress Champion and World Champion mare. When Faith refused to put her head down at a major non-pro event after dropping bridles, Marissa’s sister was forced to dismount from her own horse, and bridle Faith for her. Winning the class cured her humiliation pretty quickly though, and Marissa is adamant that her family would never consider selling Faith who is a cherished embryo donor today.
Although we have been rivals on our respective hunt seat horses for years, I always had to smile when my friend, Brooke Ingstad would beat me on The Snooty Fox. You could just digest being second to the “master” who boasted 10 superiors, and over 800 HUS points alone in over 800 times shown. Brooke felt that some people may have expected more from them due to Snooty’s maturity and extensive record. He became Brooke’s horse as she entered that emotionally challenging 14-18 age group, which she pointed out can be very intimidating when you are the youngest. Brooke attributed his charisma and “snooty” attitude as the reason why he lasted until age 17 in the showpen.
Even though Snooty could be stubborn at times, Brooke credited that “he always took care of me,” and today reigns supreme as king of the pasture. I must admit I got a little teary when Brooke noted that she frequently reflected on the Toby Keith’s song lyrics during her career with Snooty – “I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was!”
I never planned to haul Hope for a fifth year, but five months into 2010, she continues to love her job. No matter what happens, I am better prepared to cope with “letting go” at some point in the future thanks to the wisdom of people I have admired along my career. What I’ve learned through this process is that there really is no easy answer. These great horses play such a huge part in our lives and no matter why you have to say goodbye, it’s extremely difficult. So in the meantime, I’m going to follow the advice of my friend Breda, and do what makes me happy. Life is too short!
A very special thanks to all the exhibitors who allowed me such personal access into their private world – you guys are my heroes.
xoxo, Dakota
Photo credits: K.C. Montgomery, Jeff Kirkbride, Bar H Photography, Harold Compton, The American Quarter Horse Journal, Waltenberry and Rick Childress.
