In the horse industry, many women are horse trainers, judges, teachers, and exhibitors while also trying to be “Super Moms.” There is a constant juggling act where they are trying to coordinate their children’s schedules, school, extracurricular activities, ride horses, fly to judge shows, and compete at long circuits while also trying to make piano recitals and parent-teacher conferences.
Trainer Kim Reynolds of Fairfield, Florida revealed one of the biggest challenges for mothers who train horses. “Managing everything is very difficult. I spent many years feeling guilty about being away from my daughter, Cassie,” says Reynolds, who is on the road a lot for horse shows. “I also wish she had been born during a month we did not have any big shows. We used to have her birthday at a show, now, with school, we celebrate before we leave. It is a very tough life.”
One of the biggest balancing acts is when a young training couple decides to have a child and they have to work through the pregnancy, and at the same time, keep their clients happy.
While, there is flexibility of not having a 9 to 5 job in the horse industry; there is a struggle to develop a healthy routine for their children. GoHorseShow.com asked several mothers who are trainers, including, Trish Roberston, Katy Jo Zuidema, Farley Sliss, Charlie Brittany Andrews, and Kristy Starnes on how they handle the stress of trying to get everything done while keeping their children their first priority.
GoHorseShow wanted to know how far along they were in their pregnancy
before they told their clients; when they went on pregnancy leave; and how long
before they got back in the saddle. We asked them their biggest
challenges and what advice they have for young women trainers, and,
finally, what they wished they had known beforehand.
Farley Sliss
Trainer, Farley Sliss of Dallas, Texas has two children, Ellie, 5, and Cross, 4 months, with her husband, Saul Sliss. Sliss gives some important advice about how to multitask and still remain sane at the same time.
“I work around their needs,” says Farley, who was fortunate enough to be able to ride through both pregnancies. “They are only little once and it goes by so fast. I try very hard to conduct ‘business as usual’ even though it might not be on the exact time frame I want. All of our clients were very supportive and excited for us. Everything has a way of working itself out.”
Farley’s last show before having her son, Cross, was the 2013 Reichert Celebration where she rode until about three weeks before he was born. According to Sliss, those last weeks were not spent laying around.
“Saul was gone to the Congress, so I brushed, longed, and turned out the remaining horses,” Farley recalls. “After Cross was born, my doctor asked me to wait two weeks before I stepped back on. I did as she asked and started back getting my Junior Hunter Under Saddle horse ready for the AQHA World Show. After that, I was riding colts!”
Farley explains that support and help from family is crucial as well as hiring extra help at the barn. The couple hired an assistant, Cameron Van Sickle, to help take over some of the work Farley does at the barn so she can spend that time riding.
“My biggest challenge was not overdoing it and learning to go with it,” Sliss remembers. “While pregnant, it might take you a bit longer to get things done and that’s okay. After the pregnancy, I mentally knew there were things I should be doing, but, physically, my body wasn’t back to prepregnancy shape. It was a little harder the second time around. I had to work my way back up through the aches and pains.”
Her biggest advice for other trainers that ride while pregnant is to make sure you trust your instincts and listen to your body. “If it doesn’t feel right then don’t do it!” Sliss states. “Use a step stool to get on, even your shortest horse. If someone offers to do something like saddle your horse–let them. After the arrival, enjoy every moment you can with your baby, it goes by in the blink of an eye.”
Trish Robertson
Trainer Trish Robertson of Reddick, Florida has an adorable 19 month-old daughter, Adaleigh, with her husband, Josh Robertson. This young couple works out of Olivia Hoecker’s Pine Meadow Quarter Horses in Florida. Robertson wasn’t blessed with Sliss’ luck of being able to ride through her pregnancy. Trish talks about her struggle with extreme morning sickness and having to stop riding at 22 weeks.
“I have known for as long as I can remember that I wanted to be a mom, so when my daughter, Adaleigh, was born in July of 2012, it was a dream come true. What I didn’t know was that I would choose a profession that adds a whole new level of difficulty to motherhood,” Trish recalls. “I tried to show at the Gold Coast in 2013, but I was incredibly sick, which lasted all the way until an hour after Adaleigh was born. I did make it in the pen a few times. The last time I showed was in Virginia and my 17 hand green hunt seater tripped and almost fell. I never felt in danger, but Josh didn’t let me back on a horse until after the baby was born. I felt like I was letting my customers down, but they were all amazing.”
During her pregnancy, Robertson said that Josh got the horses ready and hired catch riders until she was able to get back in the saddle. “As soon as the doctor cleared me to ride in October, I was back in the saddle,” Trish remembers. “I had no idea how much I would miss riding, or how hard it would be to juggle motherhood and my job. I decided I wanted to spend half the day with my baby and half the day riding. For a long time, I felt like I was a bad mom for wanting to work, and a bad trainer for wanting to be with my baby. I developed quite a bit of anxiety that is finally getting resolved–19 months later! I feel so blessed to be able to be in the position that I can spend time with my baby and do my work.”
Although there is no perfect time to have a baby, Trish says that there are a few things to consider. “If circumstances don’t allow you to hire help or you don’t have family help, it is incredibly difficult to continue your career for some time. Also, I never imagined I would be so sick for so long, which kept me from my job even longer,” Trish reveals. “You have to consider your spouse also. If they are also a trainer, chances are they will be on the road a lot when you are pregnant, and, when the baby is first born, you can barely find time to take a shower much less go to a show.”
Robertson mentions that being able to use a living quarters trailer at shows is a must and she couldn’t survive without it. “It allows me to always have my child close, which is extremely important to me. As well as it gives her a good place to nap, eat and get away from the heat and cold.”
Trish adds, “In my opinion there is no greater gift in life than being a parent, and it can work in any situation, but it is not easy….especially in our industry. However, the rewards definitely outweigh the difficulties. Again, I truly believe the most important thing is to try and surround yourself with positive supportive people that will be there for the ups and downs.”
Kristy Starnes
Kristy Starnes of Summerton, South Carolina is mother to a four year-old son, Logan, with her husband, Jay. Starnes says that their clients were all very excited when they found out she was pregnant.
“Everyone helped, so I did not have to saddle horses and carry extra weight,” Starnes recalls. “It is like having an extended family in our barn as everyone gets along so well. When Logan was born, we had a built-in babysitting system it seems. Everyone would help out by taking care of him, so that Jay and I could concentrate on the horses. Of course, it helps that my mom is retired and became a full-time baby sitter!”
Starnes said that she actually rode up to the week before she was due because she was going stir crazy–mostly just loping as trotting was a bit too bouncy. As far as getting back into the show pen, Kristy showed four weeks after having Logan via C-section.
“The main issue I had was actually getting on the horses. I had lost so much muscle tone in the few weeks I did not ride and from using the stool to get on through the pregnancy that I could hardly pull myself up,” Starnes recalls. “It took me a good three months to be able to get onto a big hunt seat horse without a stool…even the western ones posed a problem in the beginning.”
So what advice does she have for other young women trainers? “I think I would say it is important to get your baby on a schedule. It made our lives much easier, and it made it easier for others to watch Logan for us,” Kristy states. “Also, do not expect to be able to go back to riding 10 to 12 horses a day as you will not have the time you once did. Everyone tells you that having a child changes everything, and it truly does, but I feel as horsewomen we are more able to adapt as we have spent our entire lives (most of us) adapting to horses!”
Charlie Brittany Andrews
Trainer Charlie Brittany Andrews of Whitesboro, Texas says that her two year-old daughter, Emma, was not planned although she and her husband, Colt, love her dearly and couldn’t imagine life without her.
“It was very scary for me and Colt. We had just started our own business, Andrews Show Horses. As a young couple just starting out, adding a child and pregnancy to our plate was a bit overwhelming,” Andrews recalls. “I know the doctors tell you to hold off telling anyone but I wanted to give my clients ample time to move their horses if that’s what they chose to do–luckily no one left and they were very supportive.”
Andrews said that she trained and showed until she was eight months pregnant. “It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done–the long nights, unpredictable horses and normal pregnancy struggles were a lot to handle.”
After the doctor forced her to stop riding, she still taught lessons and helped out at the barn. Emma was due the last day of the Appaloosa World Show, so Charlie was there the entire time coaching and even helped load the trailer.
“At the time, I felt that I couldn’t slack and that I had to prove I was 100% committed to my clients,” Andrews says. “Now, I know they wouldn’t have cared. I had a C-section a few days later. I’ve never felt so out of control in my life. I wanted to ride and help but I had physical limitations. I felt bad for Colt because he had so much work and pressure on his shoulders with little to no help from me. A few days after Emma was born, Colt had to leave us to go to the Paint World. I was not even discharged from the hospital yet. He says that was one of the hardest days of his life.”
Andrews reflects, “There are times I feel like I’m missing out on something, but I think that’s normal for any parent. If I were to do it again I’d slow things down and I’d enjoy my pregnancy more.”
Katy Jo Zuidema
Katy Jo Zuidema of Micanopy, Florida says that she was lucky because she was pregnant at a great time in the show season.
“I was pregnant from May to January, so I kept riding and training horses until the Congress,” Katy recalls about being pregnant with her son, JR who is now nine years-old. “The good thing about being my size is that there are a lot of places to put a baby, so I just borrowed a couple of bigger hunt coats and kept on. I’m not gonna lie though; it was a struggle to get through the Congress…really the entire thing. I wish somebody would have told me to slow down and enjoy being pregnant.”
Even after a rough delivery, Zuidema was back on a horse two weeks later.
“The best advice I have is to not let the horse business dilute the miracle of being pregnant and having a baby. Slow down and enjoy it and be girly and vulnerable. Let people help you and take care of you. No matter what the doctor says, listen to your body. It will tell you when you need to stop riding, just be safe and moderate because your riding for two. Also most importantly, have a big support system around you. We’re surrounded by family. For us and our kids, it truly takes a village.”
