Rivalries are part of horse showing. Sometimes they sharpen you. Sometimes they drag you out of your own ride and into somebody else’s. That is when they become costly. The real danger is not just wanting to beat someone. It is when another rider starts taking up too much mental space before you ever walk into the pen.
That is how good rides start to unravel. You watch your rival in the warm-up. You want to eavesdrop on their lesson. You replay their last pattern. You decide the class is somehow about them, instead of about your own horse, your own preparation, and your own execution. By the time you show, you are no longer fully present. You are not just managing your horse. You are managing comparison, nerves, resentment, and the pressure of a storyline you helped create.
Sport psychology helps explain why one rival can get under your skin more than everyone else. In UKNow, the University of Kentucky’s news publication, sport psychologist Marc Cormier says, “pressure and the intensity of a rivalry are largely shaped by an athlete’s appraisal of the situation.”
That shift in meaning is where riders get in trouble. Instead of thinking about your line, your pace, your body control, your softness, and your horse’s confidence, you start thinking about what somebody else did or might do. You stop riding the pattern and start riding the storyline. Cormier explains in UKNow that those appraisals shape emotional responses such as confidence, excitement, and anxiety. The bigger and more personal the rivalry feels, the harder it becomes to stay focused and make clear decisions under pressure.
To make matters worse, rivalries can become especially toxic within the same barn. Trainer Brad Jewett gets at that side of the problem better than almost anyone. “Communication is key,” he says. He also warns that tension left alone “can be poison to a barn” and “can just become a cancer and spread way too fast.”
That matters because rivalry often grows in silence. It builds through assumptions, bruised feelings, perceived favoritism, and side conversations. Once that atmosphere takes hold, riders are not just competing in the arena anymore. They are carrying social tension into every class.
So how does a rider stop being negatively affected by a rival?
First, reduce the rival’s importance. That does not mean pretending they are not talented or pretending you do not care. It means refusing to turn them into a symbol. They are not proof that you are behind. They are not proof that your trainer prefers someone else. They are not proof that you need to do more than your plan requires. They are another exhibitor in another class. The more ordinary you can make them in your mind, the less power they have over your body and your decision-making. Cormier’s point in UKNow is simple but powerful: change the appraisal, and you change the pressure.
Second, get brutally process-oriented. In that same UKNow interview, Cormier says athletes need to focus on process rather than outcome because the outcome can be outside their control, while process gives them something they can actually influence.
That is exactly what riders need when rivalry starts creeping in. Your job is not to control who wins. Your job is to enter the ring prepared, stay with your horse, and make the best decisions you can in real time. When your mind wanders to the rival, come back to something concrete: eyes up, stay soft, finish the turn, hold the line, ride the transition.
Third, use a repeatable focus routine. In the Association for Applied Sport Psychology handout “Signature Sport Psychology Techniques,” Sean McCann lays out a clear three-step sequence: “Answering questions,” “Finding a focus,” and “Executing the focus.”
That framework is useful in the show pen because rivalry tends to flood the mind with useless questions. What if they beat me again? What if their horse looks fresher? What if I have to do something extra to keep up with them? McCann’s structure gives riders a way to narrow the chaos. Answer the fear, choose the focus, and go ride it.
Finally, protect the environment around you. Like Jewett mentions, the healthiest competitive environments are usually the ones where people address issues directly, keep communication clean, and refuse to let insecurity spread unchecked. That kind of atmosphere will not eliminate rivalry, but it will keep rivalry from taking over everything else.
A rival can push you to improve. But the second they start controlling your focus, your breathing, your confidence, or your timing, they are costing you. The riders who handle rivalry best are not the ones who never notice it. They are the ones who refuse to feed it. They keep the class in perspective, keep their focus narrow, and keep the other rider where they belong: outside your head.
