The goal of a horse-rider relationship is not a one-way street; the most accomplished riders tend to share a close bond with their horses. Unfortunately, some riders’ connections with horses are not very strong, and they are unsure how to fix them.
It’s like having a loose wire to a lightbulb that flickers occasionally – sometimes it works, and sometimes it only works part of the time. Riders need to have a stronger connection that is not easily breakable. So, how do you do this? We talked with champion trainers for their insights and advice for increasing that bond.
Just Ride
It may seem simple, but riding your horse as much as you can will create a better bond with your horse. Try to make it enjoyable. Don’t nitpick at them or get frustrated at them every time you see them, especially if you are going through a rough spot.
In the human context, if you were asked to work the hardest every time a particular co-worker was around, then chances are you wouldn’t be too fond of their company. Horses are the same – if you ask your horse to work like they are showing every time you are around them, it’s likely you won’t be their favorite person.
For example, if you are constantly having trouble with the lope log in the western riding, maybe don’t do it for a while, take a break, or be creative and put logs in unexpected places and try to get used to practicing them separate from a western riding pattern. Put them out in the middle of a field, and do fun exercises with them. Take the pressure off. Trainer Jimmy Daurio says, “There is no better way to connect with a horse than spending time with them and time in the saddle.”
When you get frustrated or don’t seem on the same page as your horse, spend time doing fun things. Go trail riding, play egg and spoon, ride a buck, ride bareback – anything you can do that will be fun and upbeat. Working on your weaknesses all the time will drain your confidence even more.
By grooming your horse and giving baths, you will develop a real sense of trust as they become more comfortable in your presence. This can translate to success in the show pen as your horse will likely become more responsive to your instructions.
California Trainer Jenn Wheeler says, “I’ve seen an extreme uptick in many riders just simply not understanding their horse’s mentality or personality due to lack of ‘bonding’. A lot of new riders we’ve seen join our program since 2020 have expressed a sincere disgust at having to brush, saddle, longe, work/ride, and then groom/care for their horses,” Wheeler says. “This group of riders are the same ones who can’t seem to understand why they haven’t learned how to ride much better than when they started. They don’t get the same results as the owners who enjoy spending time with their animals.”
Go Back to Your Roots
Plain and simple: You must know your partner inside and out if you expect a connection or positive outcome from your rides.
“I’ve recently returned to my roots as a trainer and forced myself to make my clients ‘participate’ more. Sometimes that creates more work for me, and sometimes that is met with some whining from the client. But, the result is way more satisfying for all of us, and I’m sure the horses agree it is better for them too,” Wheeler says. “I wish our industry would focus more on the work, bond, and education versus the glam and glitz that sometimes attracts the wrong ideas and attitudes. Let’s encourage horsemanship, not status.”
Groundwork
“I would say doing the groundwork with your horse, meaning grooming, bathing, wrapping legs, cleaning its stall, etc. The more you handle your horse in multiple situations, the better you and your horse know each other,” Trainer Whitney Vicars told us. “This will help create a bond and build trust between you and your horse. There needs to be mutual trust from each member of the partnership.”
Vicars also believes that longe line lessons on your horse are helpful. Generally, riders don’t use reins or their hands much, if at all, during this exercise. “I encourage my students to learn to guide and ride the horse with their whole body, not just their hands. These lessons are also invaluable in working on posture and core strength, and riding with a strong, balanced seat will help you and your horse develop a connection.”
Ease into What You Want
Missouri Trainer and AQHA Judge Jamie Hartman says that sometimes we fixate on perfection and forget how to communicate. “Not all horses speak the same language. I often start with what the horse wants to do and then make suggestions to end with more of what I want. The lack of communication in certain areas becomes more evident, which leads to clearer communication.”
According to Pierre Briere, a 40-plus-year professional trainer and AQHA World Champion in western riding, enjoying a successful partnership with a horse starts with finding the best horse for you. Riders and horses must complement each other, a dynamic that can be detected as early as the first ride. “It is imperative to take the time to ride that horse before you purchase it. Get a good feel for it to make sure your personalities connect.”
Realistic expectations are also essential but often get lost in the excitement of the search. The biggest misconception? “That it’s going to be easy, and the horse will replicate exactly what it was when you bought it,” says Will Knabenshue, a professional trainer who runs a successful all-around program in Whitesboro, Texas.
Although buying a seasoned winner may seem like a competitive advantage, it is no guarantee of success. “Take an athlete on a football team, and they are very successful,” says Knabenshue. “Put them on a different team, and they may not be as successful because of the new surroundings.”
“The previous rider worked to build the relationship. You will need to do the same, and don’t expect immediate results,” Briere advises.
It Takes Time
“Having a relationship with a horse that turns into a successful relationship over the years in the show arena depends on getting to know each other,” says Briere. “When your horse knows your body language, when he responds with limited cues, when you know how your horse should feel, that is the point of connection, and that can take years.”
Investing the time to build a bond can be enjoyable, especially when you begin to see it pay off. The thrill of competition is rewarding, but even more rewarding is knowing you have a partner you can count on for years to come, which is an investment worth making.
