A popular meme about equestrians goes like this: “Horse people are crazy; we pay someone to judge us for fun!” While this is essentially true, it also cuts to the heart of the fact that our industry, while challenging, exciting, and fun, is also focused on judgment and “who did it best.”
Only one person can “win” the class; many riders feel inadequate and disappointed when they lose or don’t finish at the top. Confidence is critical to presenting yourself and your horse in the best light, but it can be difficult to fake when feeling discouraged.
We spoke to multiple Congress and World Champion trainer Clint Ainsworth to get his tips on how trainers can help build their clients’ confidence.
Set Your Client Up for Success
Ainsworth emphasizes, “There are three keys to setting your client up for success so they feel confident when showing. First, make sure they are in the appropriate division/class. Second, set reasonable expectations. And finally, you need to ensure they feel prepared.”
He continues, “It is important as a trainer to ensure your client shows in the appropriate division for their skill level. If they don’t belong in their division or a particular class, you will do more to discourage them from showing than encourage them to improve.”
“Also, if your client wants to show in a particular class, you don’t want to put them in a situation where they are bound to fail. They need to feel prepared and deserve to be where they are. This may require you to tell your client they aren’t ready for a class yet or push them to move up and challenge themselves.”
Clint explains, “I always tell my clients we have short-term and long-term goals. A short-term goal could be a successful lead change, but a long-term goal could be to become a World Champion. You want to help your client set reasonable expectations so they aren’t discouraged, but you also want to challenge them to live their dreams and meet smaller goals. It’s a delicate balance.”
Finally, Ainsworth is a firm believer that practice and preparation equal confidence. “I am not a ‘wing it’ kind of guy,” he laughs. “It is crucial to ensure your client feels prepared for their class. They need to know their patterns, understand their expectations, and feel they have practiced enough to execute at a high level in the pen.”
He admits, “Every client is different, and some require more practice than others, but it is the job of the trainer to ensure that your client feels comfortable in the class they are in, with the horse they are on, and with the skills you’ve been practicing.”
Give Genuine Compliments
One of the more common love languages is ‘words of affirmation.’ While many people agree that they don’t necessarily need a compliment to feel good about themselves, unsolicited, genuine compliments can go a long way in building up someone’s self-esteem.
Ainsworth agrees. “It is so important to find something to compliment a client on. Whether the go was fantastic or…less than fantastic, I think clients need praise from their trainer.”
“I don’t want trainers to feel that they should be lying to their clients, as false confidence won’t help them and will likely only make them more frustrated when they don’t find success. So, your compliment needs to come from a sincere place.”
He advises, “I like to make sure that I verbalize what is going well – whether it is a maneuver in the pen, how nice an outfit looks, how much a person has improved, etc. It goes a long way to tell someone they are doing something right and makes it easier to have a frank discussion about what needs work.”
Be an Active Listener
Trainers, particularly when at shows, have a lot going on. Therefore, focusing on individual clients and their needs can be hard when you have 500 things happening simultaneously.
Ainsworth emphasizes, “It is so important to do your best to give each client some amount of individualized attention – even when at shows. Clients who feel seen and heard have a much better relationship with you, contributing to a better barn atmosphere. All of this should translate to confidence in the pen.”
“Therefore, when a client confides in you – sharing their concerns or goals, giving them your undivided attention is important. And, if you cannot listen to them at that time, you need to tell them that you want to give them your attention and will have to plan another time to meet so you aren’t distracted.”
Ainsworth laughs, “Trainers can’t just be good horse managers. They need to be good people managers as well. And that means you must be conscious of what people need and when they need it.”
Be Positive
Let’s face it. Things don’t always go as planned at a show. In these moments, it can be easy to get down on yourself and lose confidence in your plan.
Ainsworth offers, “Instead of harping on what went wrong, I like to couch my criticism in advice on how to improve.”
He continues, “Obviously, you will always have to discuss what needs more work, but instead of saying, ‘that was awful,’ tell your client, ‘this needs more work.’ You must be honest about their showing, but being mean will only worsen matters.”
Ainsworth adds, “I tell my clients all the time, ‘We are going to stumble and fall way more than we will stand up and win.’ The horse show world is insanely specialized, so when you are showing at this high level, you must keep a positive environment around the barn to make it fun for your clients.”
Clint believes that a positive attitude as a trainer encourages your clients to mirror that demeanor. Being upset over a bad experience is okay, but you can’t dwell on negativity.
Celebrate Achievements
While most of us enter the industry due to a love of horses, many also show them due to a passion for competition and a desire to win. But these wins don’t come quickly. They involve much time, effort, and, frankly, money. Therefore, when someone does get that big win, it needs to be a big deal.
Ainsworth gushes, “My ultimate goal is to give all of my clients that one special moment in the show pen where they can say they achieved a dream. When it happens, it is so important to celebrate with them.”
He admits, “It can be hard with our horse show schedules to adequately celebrate a great win with one client when you have another that needs to warm up. So, you really must make a conscious effort to take the time to celebrate those achievements for your clients.”
“I try to do something special after the big wins. Sometimes, I’ll surprise a client by putting the horse’s shoes in a shadow box to commemorate the moment. Or, for my adult clients, I will crack open a bottle of champagne and toast to their victory.”
He continues, “It is important to cultivate a barn environment where everyone is competitive and wants to win, but where everyone is also supportive of each other and able to celebrate their barn mates. You need to be both a gracious winner and a gracious loser.”
Be Patient
Finally, Ainsworth believes that trainers can significantly enhance their clients’ confidence and self-esteem by being patient with them and allowing them to learn at their own pace.
“Every client learns differently, and you have to cater to your client’s individual needs. Some clients can be told what to do and do it; others need to be shown. And it is your job as a trainer to figure out what works best to coach your unique horse and rider teams.”
“Additionally, you want to challenge your rider without demoralizing them. You need to understand someone’s limitations and abilities, which can be frustrating. But, letting your frustrations carry over into your coaching can tear a person down.”
Ainsworth concludes, “My best advice is to meet your clients where they are. In a highly competitive environment, it can be easy to forget that this is supposed to be fun. Set your client up for success, stay positive, be honest, and remain patient, and you will all be on the road to success.”
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