Some people would say the only things that are certain in
life are death and taxes. I would argue to say the only thing certain in life
is uncertainty. Given the recent happenings in Oklahoma over the past few
weeks, it made me realize that so many things in our horse show world are
uncertain and out of our control. For the majority of people, dealing with
uncertainty creates unwanted stress and anxiety. However, with a little
knowledge, you can begin to embrace uncertainty and move through uncertain times
and even experience some pleasant surprises along the way.
We cope with uncertainty by trying to control our
environment
It is human nature to want things to turn out the way we
want, and we learn at an early age that if we set goals, and work hard we can
make our dreams come true. However, for most people, there comes a point where
this process doesn’t work anymore, and despite our best efforts, something
beyond our control inserts a monkey wrench into our plan. We feel blind- sided
when that happens, and in order to avoid the negative feelings, we decide we
need to plan a little bit better, and not leave anything to chance, which is
about as useful as trying to get a gelding pregnant.
There are more things out of our control, than in our
control
As a competitive equestrian, almost everything that comes
into play during a show is colored by the uncertainty crayon. Just look at the
following lists, one is for the things you can control and know with absolute
certainty, and the other list is for the things that we can not know and are
out of our control.
The things I know are certain and I can control are…
I have packed everything I need in the trailer because I did
it myself and I know nobody took them out.
My attitude
My reaction to what happens
The things I know that are uncertain and I can’t control
are…
The judge’s opinion
How many people will be in my class
The weather
Arena footing
How I place
Birds flying in front of my horse during my pattern
Flies landing on my horse’s ears causing him to violently
shake his head
People jumping on the bleachers
Corgis running in the arena during an equitation class
My horse staying healthy at the show
Everything on this list has happened at recent shows that I
have been in, and I’m sure that if we all got together and brainstormed, the
list would get much longer. The point of this little demonstration is to
highlight the fact that if you are trying to control the outcome of your show
ring endeavors, you may be wasting a lot of time and energy.
No matter the outcome, how do you want to be?
When we start to ask ourselves HOW we want to be in a given
situation no matter how it turns out, we are aligning ourselves with the
natural order of things. First, we are not demanding that a specific situation
has to have a specific outcome in order for us to feel a specific way. If we
first decide how we want to be, which is your end state, and then take action
while we are in that state, we are able to get in the flow of life, and we can
move easily in the direction we want to go.
Your state determines where you place your attention
We are bombarded with millions of bits of information each
second, but because of the way our brain is designed,this information goes
through a process of deletion, distortion and generalization. This filtering
system sorts the millions of bits of down to less than seven pieces of useful
information that becomes our current awareness. Ultimately, our state
determines what we are paying attention to. When you are in a useful state, you
will be paying attention to what is important in that moment to do your best.
Let’s use the common ‘I want to get qualified for the World
Show’ example, however, in this case, you are just defining what you want without
taking into consideration how you want to be.
Most likely, you take the steps needed to get qualified, by
going to shows. As you get closer to the end of the qualifying period and you
have a half point to go, you may start thinking things like:
What if I don’t get qualified?
What if the last show I go to gets cancelled?
What if there aren’t enough people in my class to get
qualified?
What if I screw up?
If you just try this strategy on, by the time you are ready
to compete, you will probably not be riding from your ‘confident place’ which
will just make you more stressed out and lower your probability to have a great
performance.
Instead, let’s say you asked yourself, “How will I be when I
get qualified for the World Show?”
Your response might be something like proud, excited and
confident, and you know what it’s like when you are feeling those things. As
you approach the final show, you are able to get in touch with your proud,
excited and confident feelings. If you are riding and performing in that state,
you are focused on the things that will create your best performance. You don’t
start What -iffing yourself, and like magic, your odds of success are much
greater.
Smallest Next Step
Once you are in your end state, it is time to take action
toward your goal, one small step at a time. Once you take the smallest next
step, you can look around for new information and still being in your end
state, you can decide the smallest next step. You repeat this process one small
step at a time until you reach your destination. Instead of trying to control
and block any new information from coming in by sticking to a rigid plan the
positive side of uncertainty, which is possibility, can come into play.
Your End State is crucial, even in a crisis
When you are in a crisis, getting into a resourceful state
is the key to making clear decisions. Asking ‘What if’ questions will only
create more anxiety because nobody really knows exactly what will happen, until
it happens. Instead, If you decide you want to be calm, level headed and
decisive regardless of the outcome, you will be able to utilize all of the
incoming information to make clear, rational decisions, one small step at a time.
Kirsten Farris is a regular
contributor to GoHorseShow.com and a Certified Sport Consultant,
Certified Equestrian Fitness Trainer, and the Author of The Workbook for
the Equestrian Athlete – A Guide to Showring Success. For more
information contact her at:kirsten@equestrianathlete.com © 2013
