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10 Things Mentally Tough Equestrians Never Say by Kirsten Farris

According to Graham Jones, Sheldon Hanton and Declan Connaugton, mental toughness is, “Having the natural or developed psychological edge that enables you to: generally, cope better than your opponents with the many demands (competition, training, lifestyle) that sport places on a performer; specifically, be more consistent and better than your opponents in remaining determined, focused, confident, and in control under pressure.” (Jones, Hanton, & Connaughton, 2002)

I thought it would be interesting to apply this principle to competitive equestrians, and come up with a list of things that separates the Mentally Tough Equestrians (MTE) from the rest of the pack. Check out my list below!
“Does this outfit make my butt look big?”
Ahh, yes, the age old question that creates a moral dilemma for the recipient, but in this case, it’s more of a metaphor for how Mentally Tough Equestrians (MTE’s) live their life. One of the key traits of a MTE is a strong sense of self, and they do not rely on opinions of others to tell them how they look, feel or performed. They don’t need somebody to tell them because they already know.
“My horse feels a bit off. Can I still show today?”
When you have a live 1200 pound animal as your teammate, you need to take time to know your partner inside and out. If a MTE senses that something is wrong with their horse, they will be the first person to realize that asking a horse to compete when they aren’t feeling well is not going to work–neither partner can give 100% to their performance. MTE’s know that there is always another show, but not another horse, and they would never jeopardize their horse’s health or well being for the sake of a class.
“I wish I would have …”
I get hindsight is 20/20, but after a disappointment; MTE’s don’t wish they did something differently. They are grateful for the learning, and make sure that they learn from their mistakes to ensure they won’t be repeated.
“I should have…”
When people say that they should have done something differently, it means that they knew better, but did not execute. MTE’s do the things that they know they should do and don’t cut corners when it comes to practice, preparation or performance.
“I hope things turn out OK.”
Don’t get me wrong, hope is a wonderful thing, but hope is a feeling, not a strategy. Hope is useful in the planning stage because when people have hope, they believe things are possible and if you want your field of dreams to bear fruit then plant your seeds in the field of possibility.
“Geez, there are 7 World Champions in my class.”
While competition may be stiff, MTE’s know that every dog has its day. Instead of worrying about the competition, MTE’s spend their energy being the best they can be, and maybe today will be the day that they shine a bit brighter than the other horses in the pen.
“I’ll just play it by ear.”
Not having a game plan is a plan, but it happens to be the most ineffective game plan of all time. Planning for a major show starts months in advance, and includes everything from diet, exercise and overall fitness, to increasing mental focus. Not only will all of this preparation have your body and mind prepared to perform at your best, you will also reap the side effect from effective preparation- Confidence.
“My horse isn’t the best ___________.”
Yeah, so what. All horses have weaknesses, but the key is to downplay the weaker points and build upon the natural strengths that they have. When you focus on what you’re good at, and stop griping about the subtle flaws, you may find that those flaws stop bothering you.
“I am going to do _______________.” 
You may know somebody who spends a lot of time talking about how they are going to ride without stirrups, write a book, run a marathon or get on the Today Show, but somehow, they never do. Talk is cheap, and MTE’s don’t spend a lot of time talking about what they are going to do because they’re too busy doing it.

“I don’t have a fancy saddle and expensive outfit, that’s why I didn’t place.”

Are you kidding me? Do you think that a judge has time to notice if your outfit is fancier that others in the pen? What they do have time to sort for is a a well turned out team that exudes confidence and presence. That means your tack is spotless, your horse is fit and shiny, your outfit fits you impeccably and regardless of the size of your behind, it looks perfect.

Kirsten Farris is a regular contributor to GoHorseShow.com and a Certified Sport Consultant, Certified Equestrian Fitness Trainer, and the Author of The Workbook for the Equestrian Athlete – A Guide to Showring Success. Kirsten and her horse, Lyles Al Lie, were the 2012 and 2013 AQHA Select World Champion in Hunter Under Saddle. For more information contact her at: kirsten@equestrianathlete.com © 2013
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